How To Improve Your Social Skills So You Can Get As Many Friends As You Want…
Posted by Dennis Miedema | Posted in Meeting women through your social circle, Your social circle, Your social skills | Posted on 03-09-2010
Tags: expand your social circle, how to improve your social skills, improve your social skills, Your social circle, Your social skills
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Everybody always wants to know how to expand your social circle, but you FIRST need to learn how to improve your social skills to do that. Makes sense, right? But how do you do it then?
How do you improve your social skills? That’s what this blog post is all about.
In previous blog posts I talked about how to expand your social circle and meeting women through your social circle thanks to your lifestyle, but today we take a step back…
Why?
Because I can talk about expanding your social circle all I want, but if you don’t know how to talk to people then it’s all worthless. Sure I can show you the best ways to make friends, but if you SUCK at making new friends? Then it’s all worthless.
Take me for example. My best friends used to be books… and then movies and the videogames I played on my Xbox. I’ve come along way from that to befriending the most popular people in town. At first making new friends was hard. It was difficult.
Have you ever felt alone because you didn’t have that many friends? Have you ever felt bored out of your freaking mind because none of your friends could hang out while you had nothing to do? Then pay attention…
Because the tips below will help you on your way to make new friends, even if you have ZERO friends right now.
So if you want to improve your social skills and get as many friends as you want? Then dude, welcome to my wonderful world of tricks to start doing that! Let’s take a look…

How To Improve Your Social Skills Tip #1: The Minute Mission
Have you ever noticed that every time you’re in a store and someone talks to the guy or woman behind the counter, that the conversation never lasts more than a minute?
No? Then start paying more attention, damn!
These wannabe conversations are nothing more than playing polite, because the conversation never goes any further than:
“Busy day?” or “How’s your day going?” Or it’s some useless comment about the weather or what you’re buying. Bad news my friend: it’s very likely that you’re playing polite all the time. Stop doing that!
If you want to improve your social skills, then you need to get better at the art of conversation. You need to get a feel for what topics and what comments people respond well too.
Once you know that, then people in general will respond to you in a much more positive way. They will like you more. They will become your friends much more easily if only you just keep talking and agree to talk again soon.
That’s all there is to it.
So you need to go on a more than a minute mission. Mission briefing:
Every time you go to a store to buy something? Talk to the person behind the counter longer than a minute. Talk for as long as you possibly can and until the people waiting in line almost want to bitchslap you out of the freaking store so they can pay for what they’re buying.
Same goes for school, college, work, the bus station, and even social events like birthdays and parties. Sitting next to a senior citizen on a bench? Seeing someone who’s sitting or standing somewhere and just looking around with nothing to do?
Then talk your ass off dude! Every conversation in your life should last longer than a minute from now on. Trust me, you need the practice. Talk to as much different people as possible longer than a minute, even if the people themselves look boring.
Why?
The more diverse the kinds of people you’re used to talking to, the easier it becomes to talk to women later on. This is because you’ll be prepared for almost ANY reaction… and you’ll quickly discover that no two conversations with women are the same. So you need to prepare!
No conversation with women is ever the same. Every conversation is different, so the more experience you get with conversations? The better you can improvise and come up with things to say to keep it interesting for the women you’re talking to.
How To Improve Your Social Skills Tip #2: Heavy Talks
The more work you put into your longer than a minute mission, the more comfortable you will feel around people… and the more comfortable you will feel talking to people.
Once you’re comfortable like that it’s time for a bigger challenge: seeking heavy conversations. What I mean is talking about difficult topics with people you don’t really know that well.
Why do this? Why seek heavy conversations? Here’s the reason why:
If you want to meet women and then actually date them, then sooner or later there’s a conversation about sex pretty early on, maybe even BEFORE the first date. Most people are not comfortable talking about it, but you need to feel comfortable about it or your job of getting dates becomes much more difficult. I guarantee it.
Women also have a habit of doing an “interrogation” when they’re interested in you: they start firing one question after another at you to see if they should be MORE or LESS interested in you. The “interrogation” usually happens during the first conversation after you get a woman’s phone number, email, Facebook, or any other form of contact information.
She could ask about politics, your ex(es), about what you want to do with your life. Tough questions. Difficult conversations. Do you see now why it’s smart to get used to having difficult conversations?
So how do you take this next step? How do you become comfortable with talking about topics like sex, exes, politics and other heavy stuff?
Here are some good starting points for you:
1) Most men hardly ever talk about sex with their male friends… and if they do? They’re bragging about how they screwed some chicks brain out, but nothing more. No explanations of techniques or anything. Start talking about sex with your friends and go in-depth: how do you do this or that? What do you enjoy most? What’s the worst thing that ever happened to you? Etc.
2) Politics and religion always lead to heated discussions. Try to find people with a DIFFERENT political point of view and/or a different religion and discuss what you believe and what they believe.
3) Talk to much older people about intimate topics. Here’s the deal: would you feel awkward if you discussed sex with your grandfather? Off course you would! That’s why having conversations about intimate topics like sex, exes, love, etc. with much older people helps you get comfortable talking about intimate stuff more than anything else.
Yes, it’s challenging to talk about heavy and intimate stuff with people you don’t know that well. That’s why you’re doing it…
Don’t believe me? Think about it: 9 out of 10 times you won’t know a woman you want to date well.
If you practice talking about heavy and intimate topics, you’ll be more than ready for it when a woman mentions sex or exes or whatever… OR… you can start talking about it yourself.
Here’s a juicy secret: women expect men to not be that open about intimate stuff. Women expect men to hide or only reveal a part of their feelings. Women expect men to not talk that much, and especially not about heavy topics. Then you come around… and guess what happens? Attraction happens! Why?
You’re a guy who talks openly about everything, who shares his feelings, who can talk for hours. You will instantly stand out from all other men a woman will have met. She will see you as a very confident guy, only because you can talk about everything with her. She will love you for it!
And in case you’re just looking to make more friends: you still need to get comfortable talking about heavy and intimate topics. Why? Because truly social people can talk about anything with anyone for as long as they want. Be one of these truly social people starting today!
Improve Your Social Skills By Improving Your Confidence 1st
Time out! Let’s not go too fast here.
Listen, if you are now where I was back in January 2003… then you may be a little people shy. You may have social anxiety where you’re not only afraid of approaching women, but afraid of talking to total strangers as well. That’s okay. You can fix this… by improving your confidence.
And I just want to say: I’ve been there. Everyone has his insecurities. I used to be insecure about my incredibly bad eye-sight that forced me to wear glasses throughout high school. What are you insecure about?
No matter what you’re insecure about and no matter how people shy you are? I can help you thanks to my knowledge of human psychology. Inside my Inner Game newsletter you will discover how to instantly improve your confidence, get rid of your people shyness, and more thanks to a psychology technique called “Mind Lines”…
So if you want to improve your confidence, then definitely check out my daily Inner Game newsletter with free tips right away.
Moving on…
How To Improve Your Social Skills Tip #4: Dale Carnegie
We’ve covered a lot of ways to get comfortable with having a conversation with everyone about any topic. Just imagine how this improves your social skills: you can become friends with the coolest people you’ll see all around you, because you can now talk about anything with them…
There’s one more important insight from self help guru Dale Carnegie I want to share with you.
This one comes straight out of his masterpiece How To Win Friends & Influence People:
“Everyone you will ever meet is your friend, because there are only friends and future friends…”
Don’t worry: this is NOT a hippie, “we love peace” type statement about how you should love Mother Nature. This is VERY practical advice. See everyone as friends and future friends. Why?
1) If you really start believing in this mindset, then you’ll see everyone as friendly. This motivates you to help more people. Since people like to help you when you’ve helped them, you will make more friends. It’s a do a favor and get a favor world my friend.
2) Read the Dale Carnegie quote again. Now think about what you have always done when a woman rejected you: you walked away all frustrated. Instead of taking it personal that you’re not right for her, why not befriend her? The woman who rejects you is your future friend… because maybe your future friend has a friend that IS right for you…
3) The first law of social circle mastery is: you’ll never know who people know. Maybe that old lady you were talking to in the partk has the hottest grand daughters ever. Maybe her son can hook you up with a job. You just never know, know what I’m saying? Everyone can be a benefit to your life, you just don’t know how yet. It’s your job to find out. That’s why everyone’s your friend.

Do you realize the benefits of seeing the world as a bunch of friends and future friends now?
Great! I knew you would. You’ve learned quite a lot in this blog post dude! Don’t believe me?
Check out all the amazing stuff you’ve learned about how to improve your social skills just now:
- How to feel more comfortable around people
- How to feel comfortable talking to people in general, and total strangers in particular
- How to feel comfortable talking about heavy and intimate topics, even with women
- How to get over people shyness, social anxiety, or whatever you want to call it
- How to use the mindset of everyone is your friend or future friend to improve your social skills
Okay, so before I end this blog post I have to admit something:
I’m a caffein junkie, but if you have been reading my other blog posts than you already knew that. Say it loud: I’m a caffein junkie and I’m proud… or something. But here’s the real news:
I used to always… ALWAYS drink my cup of black gold (coffee) to satisfy my sick need of caffein. Until recently. Recently my supermarket ran out of coffee. Can you believe that sh*t? So I was forced to settle for drinking energydrink. The fuckers!
Without thinking about it I grabbed this red and black half a liter can of energydrink with a flame on it. It’s called Burn, but I thought that was just a silly brand name like Nike or Adidas. Until I drank that biatch: caffein burned through my system like CRAZY! It was unbelievable. I was shocked.
This Burn stuff is stronger than the coffee I make. And that tells you something. It tells you a lot. I’m drinking this Burn stuff from now on, because the caffein levels in it are INSANE. Long live caffein!
Okay I should really shut the hell up now. I hope you liked these tips for how to improve your social skills… and I’ll talk to you soon in yet another blog post filled with the awesomest dating tips on the planet.
To More Dating Success,
Dennis Miedema
Win With Women
P.S. Are you a little people shy? Do you feel uncomfortable when you’re talking to total strangers… or when you’re talking to women? Then you can use the tips above to get started with feeling comfortable… and if you want even more tips? If you want to instantly improve your confidence and know what to say to strangers and women? Then check out how my Inner Game newsletter helps you get social and dating success. It only takes a minute to get your free social tips and dating tips, so check out the newsletter right now.



