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The romantic types will say: give compliments, compliments do work on women! Most people my age though will tell you they don’t work, EVER! Who’s right? Let’s find out…

With a huge grin on my face, it’s time to discuss another controversial topic. Single men all over the planet have been disagreeing about it for dozens of years.

It’s about time we end that, wouldn’t you agree?

NO… this won’t be a let love in, gayish speech. But it won’t be a long live the stonecold playboys speech either.

Do compliments work on women? Do compliments make women run away from you?

First things first: let’s talk about the mistakes most single men make…

This is familiar stuff for the critics, but keep on reading if you’re one of them because I do present new stuff…

Mistake #1: You Are NOT A Compliment Cannon…

A lot of men ask me why a woman just want to be friends with them after they were open to her about how they feel. Others ask me why a woman doesn’t want to give her phone number to them.

I don’t want YOU to belong to one of these 2 groups, so here’s my answer:

You’re trying to buy her approval, but that doesn’t work. AT ALL. You’re not a compliment cannon.

Example of a conversation of a compliment cannon:

He (drewl drewl): “Hi! Oh my god, you’re so hot!”
She: “Uhh hi.. thanks!”
He: “Is heaven missing an angel?”
She: “oh my god… you did noooot just say that. Whateverrrr!” (walks away)

You can’t get a woman to like you by giving her compliments every time you get a chance, that’s not how compliments work on women. Over-complimenting is much like buying her flowers, gifts, dinner, etc.

Why?

If a woman sees you’re trying to buy her approval, she’ll think:

“You wouldn’t need to buy my approval if there was nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with you! You’re trying to make up for it by giving me gifts!”

AND…

“Are you so insecure that you can only express your interest with material things? Are you so insecure that you think I won’t fall in love with you, but will fall in love with your gifts?”

Not good.

So the “rules of the compliment game” here are:

- Don’t compliment women too much: 5 on 1 day is more than enough. Five to ten per minute or hour is being desperate, insecure, and trying to make up for your flaws with gifts.

- Don’t compliment women from the start: women fall in love with men that have charisma and personality, not men who buy their approval. Those are the ones that end up becoming her friends.

Onward…

Mistake #2: Women Do NOT Believe Random Comments…

Most single men give too much compliments and compliment from the start. You know that now. But it gets worse…

QUESTION.

What is YOUR definition of a good compliment?

- You look beautiful/amazing/gorgeous/hot/sexy? WRONG!

- Is heaven missing an angel/are you a thief because you stole my heart/I can just drown in your eyes? WRONG!

Why are these bad compliments?

Because you can give them to ANY woman. The best compliments you can ever give are the unique ones. The stuff you can only say about her, because that truly makes her feel special.

Giving a random comment (or using a pick up line) is the stuff she hears all the time. Been there, done that. Not impressed. That’s what she’ll think.

Do compliments work then?

YES, because it shows a woman that you have a sexual interest in her. Teasing is great, but you need to let a woman know: I’m interested in you… no not that way, but THAT way.

A compliment is one of the most direct tools to voice your sexual interest with.

Again, that’s only when done right and most single men don’t know how to give compliments the right way!

Now, let’s look at some examples of GREAT compliments…

1) If she’s wearing very noticeable, red clothing (red heels, red purse, red shawl, etc.)?

“You’re cute in red… because you’re the sexiest matador I have ever seen!”
In case you didn’t know: matadors are those guys in Spain that hold a red curtain to attract the bull and then avoid him just before the bull hits them with his horns.

Lots of dirty talk about horns is welcome too here. Get started with that teasing!

2) If she has those big eyes with a twinkle in it, playful eyes:

“Did you know that you have that look in your eyes like you know more than the rest of us? What are you hiding miss playful eyes?”

As you can see: a good compliment is playful and unique (about the woman you’re talking to).

But prepare yourself…

Possible side effects include blushing, giggling, and getting shy!

The #1 Secret To How Compliments Do Work On Women…

Too much, too fast, too general compliments. Ouch! Those are three ways to screw up your chances with women.

But the #1 secret to how compliments do work on women is a little known secret… this little thing called “timing”.

I know from experience after dating lots of women… and after coaching 600+ men during the last 2 years… that every compliment needs a good set up. Just like jokes do.

The moment you create attraction BEFORE you give a compliment, is the moment you “get the girl”.

I’m not kidding…

If you are being selective, playfully teasing her, being mysterious, being dominant, or displaying any of the other character traits first?

She’ll already be interested in getting to know you better…

But if you give her a great compliment after showing her your personality?

That will be the day she goes home after meeting you, calls her best girlfriend, and talks about how hot you are for minutes if not hours.

Again, I’m not kidding!

Why does it work that way?

Because women fall for personality and if you show your personality? They’ll be interested, but they aren’t sure if YOU are interested too.

So by giving a great compliment?

They’ll know… and now they want something to happen because they’re interested and you’re too. Now they will want that kiss to happen, and maybe even more too…

That’s called anticipation. And anticipation is just what you want her to feel before she goes on a date with you… you want her to look forward to it and fantasize about what it’s like to be with you.

SCORE! Lol!

This personality-compliment system works even better if you use what I call the Pareto Reversal when she wants something to happen between you two. But, more on that in another blog post!

In short: compliments do work on women, but when done in the right way and at the right time. And one things is for damn sure. It’s that most single men don’t have a clue how giving a good compliments is done, because they mostly sound like drewling *ssholes that are not sincere.

What a surprising ending: it’s GAME OVER for both the romantics and the critics, because they’re both only half right.

Some questions for the comments! Don’t be afraid to share your opinion

1) Are you a romantic who believes in compliments? Or are you a critic?
2) Recognize any of these? Have you made any of these mistakes?
3) What is your definition of a good compliment?

By all means: share it with the world bro!

One of my wisdom teeth is killing me right now, so if you don’t mind? I’m diving into my “liquor cabinet” to drink away the pain. Have to wait until Wednesday to get it fixed. Lame!

But I’m willing to bet that my compliments work on women even if I give them with a swollen mouth, because I’m just that confident. Plus, I’m hot too!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

Want more tips about giving compliments and how to approach women successfully?

Click the link below NOW to get my Simple Inner Game System:

Get the Simple Inner Game System

P.S. What you’ve just seen above were just the basics of my thoughts on women, dating, and creating attraction, and if you want to get a ton of other tips about how to quickly meet more women without much effort? Then sign up for my newsletter below…

Want to see a sneak preview of the newsletter first? Check out the Newsletter Archive

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As a dating coach, I can easily tell you what the #1 secret to why most men fail with most women is. You see, a lot of men always come to me to ask why a woman doesn’t like them (anymore).

They tried so hard to make a good impression. It makes them wonder what her problem is or was.

But…

It’s not a woman’s problem and women are NOT the enemy. Like it or not…

The problem is… YOU. Better said, a combination of you having the wrong expectations and you being inexperienced makes you FAIL with women. Is there a solution for this OVERLOOKED PROBLEM?

At this point I’d like to say: 50 Cent. The famous rapper can teach you a lot about women and dating and he doesn’t even know it.

Here’s what you can learn from 50 Cent…

The only thing most people will ever see is 50 Cent’s first hit, In Da Club. They think success fell in his lap or that he get out without much effort.

What you don’t see is that the man had been rapping for at least 8 years before he became successful. Hell, there where times where the guy recorded 13 songs in 1 week.

In short, he put in a lot of effort before he got the results he wanted. Before 50 became successful. He practised endlessly before achieving the kind of success he craved.

Meanwhile, you approach a woman and the moment she says “NO” you go and approach someone else. The moment you approach her and she pushes you away or turns her back on you, you go and approach someone else.

And that’s where you go wrong: you expect instant success during your first attempt.

But life DOESN’T work like that.

No one ever succeeded at doing anything when they first started doing it. You probably know this already, but still you walk away when a woman turns you down during attempt number 1…

Why?

If it would take 8 attempts to get the woman of your dreams, would you make all 8 attempts?

I’m willing to bet that your answer is “YES”.

You know she’s yours after trying 8 times, so you go ahead and try it 8 times because you’re sure of the outcome.

Surprise surprise, life doesn’t work like that. Again!

You’re never sure of ANY outcome. It’s what makes life both exciting and sometimes frustrating.

But here’s the juicy secret: the more experience with women you have, the more certain you’ll be of the outcome you’ll get. With more experience you know better and better what’s coming next and can prepare for it.

Preparation is half the battle.

That’s why you need to start your endless practice with meeting and dating women TODAY. The more you talk to women? The more you’re around women? The faster you’ll gain experience and the faster you get the results you want.

When I first started meeting and dating women I was very much into online dating. I spent 6 hours a day on meeting women online. Every single day. I had my first date after a week. Did it without any online dating advice, phone numbers, experience with women OR experience with online dating. How? Endless practice.

I went the distance and so should you. They don’t say the following in martial arts for nothing:

“The master is the one who stays on the mat for 5 minutes longer than everybody else. Every single day.”

If you don’t put in the work that I did or that 50 Cent did, you will FAIL. No discussion possible. Don’t let Hollywood fool you. There is no such thing as instant success. There’s an entire background story of practice behind every single success story.

If you don’t have the patience to try something several times? If you quit after just one “NO”? And if you think Hollywood is right? Then please do yourself a favor and subscribe to the biggest porn site on the internet. Having success with women requires practice, just like having success with everything else does.

There IS light at the end of the tunnel though: there is a faster and better way to practice and gain experience with women than doing everything yourself. There is a “shortcut” to success with women.

Don’t get me wrong, you will have to practice by taking action.

But… taking action will be so easy, a baby could do it!

How?

NOT by getting dating advice from just ANY dating coach. Not by getting advice from the most popular dating coach either.

Taking action will only truly be easy when you find yourself an underdog who wants it more than everyone else. 50 Cent, Eminem, Muhammed Ali. All underdogs.

An underdog who wants success real bad will help YOU want success real bad. I am that underdog.

I’m not just ANY dating coach. I’m not the most popular dating coach either. But I don’t know any other dating coach on the planet that spends 12 hours a day on dating success. Every single day.

I know endless practice, because it’s all I do. If you REALLY want to get more results with women you need to join me by signing up for my newsletter below RIGHT NOW. I’ll tell you why most men fail with most women and what to do about it.

I’ve got some questions for you, too:

1) What are your thoughts on failure? Is it good, bad, what’s the reason? Tell me!
2) Why do most men fail with women in your opinion?

If you know me a little longer than today, then you know what I’m going to say. I’m a total movie, Pringles, and coffee junkie. And right now? I feel like acting out my movie addiction by “zoning out” as I watch this flick called Kick Ass on the big screen.

It makes fun of all the gay superheros with their faggy outfits that we’ve seen in comics and on TV. Pure genius!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

Want more TRUTH about how to have MASSIVE and CONSISTENT success with women?

Click the link below NOW to get my Simple Inner Game System:

Get the Simple Inner Game System

P.S. Remember, there is no such thing as instant success. It’s the #1 reason why most men fail with most women: they expect instant success. Don’t be one of the failers, be someone who uses endless practice to get what he wants as fast as possible.

You don’t need just any dating coach for that. You don’t need the most popular dating coach for that. You need an underdog like me who wants dating success just as bad as you do. Someone who can make you want more results with women even more. The first step to getting REAL dating success, to getting LONG TERM dating success is signing up for the newsletter of me the underdog NOW below.

You’ll be taken to a page where you can sign up:

http://win-with-women.com/?p=1833

Visitors who read this blog post also read…
My Thoughts On Relationships & Relationship Advice…
Top 8 Things That Make A Great Dating Coach
Overcoming Approach Anxiety
How To Understand Women…

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Hey it’s Dennis Miedema from Win With Women here and as a dating coach, instructor, expert, or whatever you want to call me? It’s only right that I share with you some of the “rookie mistakes” many of my students make when they try to approach women, so YOU won’t make the same mistakes as they’ve made.

I’ve coached over 600+ men with achieving dating success in 2008 and 2009 combined… and the moment I told them about these things not do? Was the moment they started getting a LOT more results with women, because everything gets much easier once you handle the fear of walking up to a woman to start a conversation.

Here’s the juicy secret: you’ll find out that women aren’t that scary once you actually start talking to them.

Anyways, here’s my top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women…

#1 Don’t Do A “Random Pick Up”
This one deserves the number one spot of most common mistakes of approaching women, hands down!

You see, women absolutely LOVE bad boys for lots of reasons… but they HATE players. Better said: no one wants to feel like they’re not important, like they don’t matter, like they’re far from unique and just one out of many… and women are no different. They don’t want to be the random chick you picked up at a bar.

That’s why pick up lines and vague compliments (example: “you’re so hot!”) never work with women, because they know you can use them on ANY woman, which makes it a whole bunch of pretty sounding crap to them.

Women want a man that has a genuine interest in them, so, someone who gives compliments about who they are as a person or their specific physique… and someone who seduces them with the stuff they’re interested in (hobbies, fantasies, ambitions, passions, etc.). So, don’t do a random pick up. Do a genuine pick up.

#2 Don’t Over Think It
A lot of men have problems with finding something witty to say to the women they encounter and want to approach. By the time they’ve thought of something “cool” to tell a woman? She’s already gone or talking to someone else.

Don’t be one of those guys, because sometimes… sometimes saying “Hi” is all you’ll ever need to do to start a fun, exciting conversation with a woman that easily leads to getting her phone number.

#3 She’s Not A Magical Princess, But Just Another Human Being
99% of the men out there view the woman they take out on a date as “miss right” and thus the woman they approach as a future miss right, while women think of men more casually… more along the lines of “let’s see where this goes.”

Major problem: thinking the woman you’re about to approach is your future miss right is putting a lot of pressure on yourself and I can almost guarantee you: you’ll act nervous, won’t know what to say and there will be plenty of awkward silences.

So, don’t see the woman you’re approaching as a magical princess, but just another human being.

Here’s the juicy secret: an easy way to program yourself into believing this is remembering that every woman has insecurities. While you may see a certain woman as absolutely freaking hot, cutest face ever, nice tits and ass… she herself?

Is insecure about her thighs, her eyebrows, her feet… and beauty can be a curse too: she fears men won’t like her for who she is, but for her looks alone which makes her even more insecure. So she has insecurities just like you do, she’s not almighty or anything. Like I said: she’s just another human being, not a magical princess. There’s nothing to feel intimated by.

#4 Don’t Be Awkward, Relax!
Remember the miss right thing from number 3 of the top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women? Well, I attended the Real Man Conference back in 2008 and it drives my point home of how you shouldn’t be awkward.

At the Real Man Conference several dating experts and students gathered to do their thing and learn from each other… and one of the dating experts there was Orlando Owen who was determined to show us the consequences of being awkward around women.

He got two girls from the audience and one guy and told the guy to approach one of the two girls like he normally would. Then, he asked the girls what they thought about him: they clearly saw he felt uncomfortable… and it made THEM feel uncomfortable. They literally said they felt more like walking away from him than talking to him.

Conclusion: don’t be awkward, but relax. Remember, a woman is just another human being with insecurities… AND… I can tell from experience that every single time you go out to approach women? You’ll start off rusty and it usually takes several approaches before you get your “mojo” back. You’ll get better with experience, so you just need to put in some work to have more success.

#5 Don’t Freak Out About Approaching
Most common excuse of one of my new students when I tell them to approach a cute woman: “No I won’t approach her, because she’ll know I’m approaching her with sexual intentions and reject me.”

Here’s the juicy secret: men have been approaching women successfully for millions of years, otherwise you simply wouldn’t exist. Your father successfully approached your mom, his father did the same with his mom, and so on. So, from a biological perspective? You’re SUPPOSED to approach women! It’s the one thing that ensures the survival of the species.

So, it’s okay to approach women, it’s normal… hell, women EXPECT you to approach them because you want a date out of it.

#6 Don’t Settle For Nothing
Try to get at least SOMETHING out of every conversation. A lot of men give up the war after losing 1 battle, why? Don’t get me wrong, thinking you need to hump every cute woman you ever freaking encounter is weird… you’re not a sex machine. And no, it’s not “cool” to be a sex machine that only has women but no career, money, or anything else going for himself.

But… don’t give up the war after losing 1 battle. She’s not interested in you “that way?” Then befriend her instead. I’m willing to bet she has some hot friends. She doesn’t want to give you her phone number? What about her MSN chat or Facebook instead?

Are you getting the point here?

#7 Don’t Think Groups Are The Same
Classic rookie mistake of approaching women: a woman’s with her friends, you like her so you approach her, and you ignore the rest of the group. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The other women in the group will get jealous and be sad that no man is giving THEM that much attention… so they’ll cockblock you by saying they’re tired and want to go home. And guess what? They’re taking “your” woman with them.

Here’s the juicy secret: no one wants to be ignored. Everyone wants to be at least acknowledged for existing, for being there. So, the least you can do is introducing yourself to her friends, ask their names, and talk about some random things with them. You’ll respect their presence in doing so and they’ll leave you alone 9 out of 10 times = you “get the girl”.

#8 Don’t Let Others Screw Up Your “Work”
Most men are jealous fools and try to screw up your chances with women, even if they themselves don’t stand a chance at all. Must be survival of the fittest at work there, but whatever’s the case, it’s annoying.

Your drunken friends are all over you as soon as you’re talking to a hot babe, if she’s in a group with guy friends then they’ll try to pull her away from you, random guys you and her both don’t know will try to interrupt you… and 9 out of 10 men get distracted by it and “lose the girl”.

And here’s the irony: if you would simply ignore them and keep on talking to the woman you’re interested in? Those losers will make themselves look like jealous fools, screw up their own chances instead of yours, and she won’t pay attention to them AT ALL.

So, don’t let others screw up your “work” and ignore the competition when they try to ruin things for you.

#9 Don’t Be The “One Trick Pony”
Another classic rookie mistake: did you know that women actually also exist OUTSIDE of clubs and bars? They’re everywhere, just like men are. So, don’t limit yourself to one location when it comes to approaching women. Don’t be the one trick pony, because what are you gonna do when the clubs are closed or not open yet?

Try to have at least 2 different locations: clubs and shopping malls, at work and online, whatever. You know better than I do where you can be found most of the time…

#10 Don’t Stop At Yes, “Upsell” Yourself
Does this sound familiar: woman makes eye contact with you, you approach her, you have a great time, and you ask her for her phone number? It does? Well, then you’re an idiot without even knowing it. See, most guys actually LIMIT THEIR OWN SUCCESS by asking for a phone number while they could have gone all the way with a woman the same day they met them…

Just like you should try to get at least SOMETHING out of every conversation, try to get the most out of EVERY woman that seems to be interested in you. I mean, why wait? If she’s making eye contact like crazy and all over you when you get to talking, why waste several phonecalls and dates when you can just as easily take her to your place then and there?

Life is short, so get as much as possible out of every woman that’s interested in you: “upsell” yourself after you heard and/or saw the “Yes I’m interested” signals.

=> So far for my top 10 things NOT to do when approaching women…
Or to quote that cool cartoon piggie from way back here: “th… th… th… that’s all folks!”

I’ve got some questions for you though that I would LOVE to get some answers for:

1) Do you like the top 10? Is there anything missing in my top 10 in your opinion?
2) Which of the 10 things NOT to do… have you done in the past by accident or because of a lack of experience with women?

This movie junkie is off to watch his favorite flick of all time: Goodfellas. Call me a sucker for mobster movies, but I was raised on that stuff so I don’t care!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

Want more tips about approaching women without much effort?

Click the link below NOW to get my Simple Inner Game System:

Get the Simple Inner Game System

P.S. What you’ve just seen above were just the basics of my thoughts on women, dating, and creating attraction, and if you want to get a ton of other tips about how to quickly meet more women without much effort? Then sign up for my newsletter below…

Want to see a sneak preview of the newsletter first? Check out the Newsletter Archive

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