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Here’s a juicy secret about what to say on a first date: most guys think that talking too much is something for the ladies. The truth is that ANYONE can make the mistake of revealing too much information. Hell, it’s usually you as a man who says way too much on a first date!

Sometimes you can say the right things, but most of the time you will say stuff that scares women away without knowing it. And then you’ll sit there, frustrated and home alone, wondering why she doesn’t call you anymore.

Do you really want to screw up your first dates because you don’t know when to shut up or what to say? If your answer is “NO”, then you’ll want to read the rest of this blog post…

And this blog post today will be all about what to say on a first date and what you DON’T say. This one will be all about conversational techniques that will help you stop worrying about everything but when to kiss her during the date.

90% of the men out there worry about what to say more than about when to kiss a woman when they’re on a first date. I’m here to change that forever.

So, I just said that sometimes it’s best to stop talking. Let’s first look at the reason why you need to shut the hell up sometimes:

Why Do Men Say Too Much On A First Date?

It’s because women read into details. EVERY detail. They can discover a million things about you just by looking at your clothes and how you’re standing. Why?

It’s because in the days when we lived in tribes, danger was everywhere. Wild beasts that ate women and the kids. Mother Nature with her earthquakes and floods. Groups of plundering cavemen that could rape women, and I don’t know what else.

Imagine how being able to read into details had an advantage back then: noticing the slightest difference meant being better able to survive because you could spot danger sooner. Since women stayed home and watched after the kids while men hunted back then, it makes sense that women are better at reading into details than you and I are.

Remember this next time you’re trying to have a monopoly on talking during a first date…

Remember it? Awesome! And now you know why you need to be quiet sometimes?

It’s time to look at which information you SHOULDN’T and SHOULD say on a first date:

1) Don’t talk about your ex, because it shows you’re not over that b*atch yet. But do talk about the type of woman you’re interested in.

2) Don’t talk about money, because most women don’t fall for money. Most women fall for personality and charisma, so don’t even try to impress women with that crap. The only thing related to money that women love talking about is shopping.

3) Don’t talk about ANY negative aspect of your life, because if you already do that on the first date women will think it’s just a “preview” of the hell that is your daily life. Do talk about positive stuff in your life: hobbies, passions, likes, dreams, etc.

I would say this is a good start to not screwing up first dates for yourself by saying the wrong things.

And now it’s time for me to share a great “conversational technique” with you. Call it “leaving something for dessert.” It has to do with what you DON’T say on a first date…

You won’t believe how many men sit there and talk for hours and hours with women during a first date. Sure, that can be fun sometimes, but why do that if you want to get a second date?

Think about it: if you share everything there is to know about you the first time, then what the hell are you going to say on a second date? And third? And a fourth date?

So leave some mystery for her. Tell her a lot, but not everything. Leave that for next time.

Why do this?

Because most men give in to women: they do everything they can to “get the girl”, which makes them boring. By letting her work to get to know you better, you’re not like those losers who kiss ass. You’re hard to get. Women love hard to get.

Got another juicy secret for you: the human brain tends to fill in the blanks when you give it incomplete information. Usually our brain fills in the blanks with wishful thinking: the way you hope things to be.

By not revealing all the information about yourself, you let her brain do all the work FOR YOU because of how the human brain operates.

In short: she likes you more because you didn’t tell her everything and she can’t do anything about it. Don’t you just love psychology!?

I like where we’re going with this blog about what to say on a first date: you now know why talking too much can ruin your first date, you’re now able to talk about stuff she likes and which helps you make it to the kiss, you know why “leaving something for dessert” creates attraction, and I’ve got even more first date tips waiting for you…

Here’s Another Tip For What To Say On a First Date…

I think it was self help guru Dale Carnegie who said:

“A poor conversationalist talks about himself all day. An average conversationalist asks questions and lets the other person talk. A great conversationalist listens and then talks about you.”

Words to live by.

The best insight about talking with women I can ever share with you is this: you don’t need to say more than she does. You need to say less on a first date. Why?

- The more you ask questions and then ask follow up questions, the more you seem genuinely interested in her. Meanwhile, she will be talking 80% of the time while you sit there and listen and come across like you’re REALLY into her because you listen with all of your attention.

- The more information she gives you about herself, the more of a connection she feels with you. Think about it: we share all information with our best friends and only some info with colleagues. The more she reveals, the closer she feels to you!

- The more information she gives you, the more things you can use to playfully tease her, be picky about, challenge her with, and so on. Better said: everything she says you can and should use “against” her to create attraction. So be like the cops in movies: keep her talking and then use what she says against her.

Do you see now why it’s better to say less on a first date than she does?

And there’s one more conversational technique I’d like to share with you. It’s so obvious once you hear it, but almost no man talks about it…

When On A First Date, Ask Her About First Dates

Show your confidence here: ask her what her worst first date ever was. Then ask her if she would kiss the guy if she saw him right now and would give her $10 for it.

Stuff like that.

Talk about your and her worst first date, your first date ever, and do that in a playful way.

On a subtle level it shows her you’re confident: you let her know that you don’t take the first date, her OR yourself too seriously.

And that’s what you want to show her, because most men think of the women they’re dating the first time as “she maybe miss right” or “she could be my future girlfriend”.
Meanwhile, women think about first dates very casually: “Let’s just see what happens”.

By talking about previous first dates, you show a woman you’re not a desperate wussy who wants to marry her because the first date was kind of awesome.

Here’s a brief summary of the right things to say on a first date:

- Talk about the type of woman you’re interested in
- Talk about shopping and what you like to shop for
- Talk about positive things in your life: hobbies, talents, passions, likes, etc.
- Don’t talk like there’s no tomorrow, leave some mystery by saving details for later
- Listen more than you talk, then talk about her. Then, maybe, talk about yourself. The more she talks the more you can use to create attraction remember!
- Talk about her and your worst first date and her first date ever in a playful way

Follow these “rules” and there’s no way in hell that you can screw up what to say on a first date!

And now I’d like to ask for a favor: let me know about your first date experiences by posting a comment below. Tell me:

1) Have you ever shared too much information on a date? What happened?
2) Which “rule” for talking to women during the first date will you definitely try next time?

But hey, it’s about time for me to flee the scene here. One of my buddies dug up this old school Jackie Chan movie where he’s doing his drunken style kung fu thing.

I love movies and martial arts movies especially, so this movie junkie is out! Bye!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

P.S. After NOT screwing up talking to women during a first date, there’s still the part of how to kiss them and how to take them home. I will leave that for another topic before this blog turns into a damn book.

In the mean and between time, if you want to get more free dating tips about creating attraction and talking to women? Then sign up for my daily newsletter right now. It only takes a minute of your time. You can get more dating tips with my newsletter by CLICKING HERE

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If you want to get a second date after having fun the first time? It’s an entirely different ball game. Going from a first date to a relationship is VERY different from meeting women, getting their number, and asking them out…

But let’s take a step back here with a question: have you ever dated a woman and out of nowhere she seemed to have lost interest in you after the first date or several dates? I know I have!

Ever said you really, really like a woman way too fast which made her freak out and almost RUN AWAY from you? Again, I’m guilty to here: I did it with this Bosnian chick named Amra for example.

Oh come on! Be honest… drop the macho act for a second. Why?

Because almost every average guy has experienced it at least once in his life. And it’s frustrating isn’t it?

It makes a man desperate: You finally meet a beautiful, interesting woman. You manage to get her phone number. You have success with asking her out. But then, then everything goes to hell and you NEVER get a second date…

OR…

You never go from a first date to a relationship with the hot chick you like.

Don’t you just HATE it when you can’t get a second date? When you can’t go from dates to relationships? If your answer is a quick “YES”, then check out my top 3 tips for how to get a second date (and after a while a relationship).

Get ready for your survival guide for having long term success, for going on multiple dates with one woman… and do that with MASSIVE success.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you, because dude… this WILL be pretty damn confrontational!

How To Get A Second Date Tip #1: Your Expectations…

Women and men look at a date in different ways. We have a different mindset. And the sad thing about it is that men screw up their chances on a date too often because they take a date way too seriously. It’s why they never get a second date, or a third date, or a fourth date…

Women think of a date as “let’s see what happens” and “I like this guy, so I wonder where this will go”. They think about dating in a much more casual way than men do. The majority of women still think in the exact same way after dating a guy several times. You (and I) as men though?

Men think about the person we’re dating in a VERY different and more desperate way than women do.

You wonder if the woman you’re dating will be your next girlfriend. You ask yourself if you will be able to kiss her if you like her and if you two will have sex…

And the result is (too) HIGH EXPECTATIONS:

You hope she’s “the one”, you hope she’s your next girlfriend, you hope you will get lucky at the end of the date… and that’s a problem…

You’re putting enormous pressure on your shoulders because you think “I don’t want to screw things up because she may be the one so I can’t make mistakes”. It will only make you nervous, uncomfortable, and quiet… which is NOT what you need on dates.

By thinking about losing her or screwing up, you actually DO screw up.

The best advice I can give you right now: TAKE A CHILL PILL!

Work on relaxing and thinking “let’s see what happens” and “I kinda like this lady, so let’s see where this goes.” Develop a “female” mindset about dates…

I know that’s tough, but the rest of these tips will help ya. And you NEED to help yourself with your expectations, because guess what?

If you get a second date and more dates with a woman, you’ll start hoping that she actually IS the one. The stakes get higher with every date, so you get more nervous unless you do something about your expectations…

Which brings me to tip number 2..

How To Get A Second Date Tip #2: The “Three Magic Words”…

Most men suffer from too high expectations when they go on a date with a woman. And most men aren’t dumb: they know they need to do something about their expectations, but the problem is HOW they do it.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to do this all the time when I first started to learn how to date women. Sometimes on a second date, sometimes even on the first when I talked to a woman for months before I could take her out!

I’m willing to bet you have made the same mistakes, because 9 out of 10 men make this mistake…

Because you want to stop doubting if the woman you’re dating is your next girlfriend or not? Because you want to know if a woman is yours or not? You tell her how you feel (you tell her the 3 magic words: I love you) and you hope to hear the words “I feel the same way, let’s be together.”

We tell women as soon as the first date, or on the second date. This is even more true when we had to wait weeks or months to get a woman on a date… it almost seems leek you, me, and we as men CAN’T WAIT to tell a woman how we feel because we like her so much…

BUT…

A woman’s reaction is NOT “I feel the same way” when you confess your feelings early on.

When you tell a woman you love her too early, she will think: “How can you know you love me when you don’t know me that well? What you’re saying can’t be true, you can’t love the real me because you don’t know the real me yet!!”

And that’s when you scare a woman away from you, because:

1) You can’t get any more desperate than confessing your feelings during one of the first few dates

2) Because a woman believes you don’t know her personally enough yet after a couple dates (even if you’ve been talking for months), she thinks you don’t love her as a person. And my friend: women only want a man that has a genuine interest in them, someone who likes them as a person!

Best advice I can give you: If a woman asks you herself what you think of her during the first couple dates, only go as far as telling her you like her a lot and want to see where things will go. If she herself says she loves you, you can say it back if you feel the same way…

But when you’re not in one of these 2 situations? I would wait until you’ve gone on AT LEAST 6-10 dates before you confess your feelings.

By waiting for 6-10 dates with confessing all of your feelings, she knows you want to get to know her better. She knows you’ve got your own life. She knows you’re not desperate. That’s what a woman wants…

And remember: most men don’t even wait 6-10 dates before they say how they feel, they say it way too early. Do you realize what that means? It means that if you’re the one guy that waits, that holds off the boat, a woman wants to find out why. A woman will start to think you’re hard to get and she will make an effort of getting you and keeping you!

IMPORTANT NOTE: there’s a BIG difference between not confessing all of your feelings on a first or a second date… and not kissing her or having sex with her.

I go for the kiss (and possibly, sex) on the first date and I wait with my feelings for her (if I have them) until after 6-10 dates.

How To Get A Second Date Tip #3: Back To The Future

A lot of guys have asked me if there is a difference between dating and relationships. I always answer YES. I have experienced myself and have seen it with dozens of my fans and customers, that the dating game requires them to stay on top all day while the relationship game is a little slower.

What I mean by that is: in a relationship, you don’t have to create a connection and create attraction with a woman all the time. Sometimes you do, and sometimes you can just be together.

But in the dating game, that period from the first date to a relationship? It’s all about showing a woman what a future with you will look like… there’s no getting second dates if you don’t do it right

And none one wants a boring ass, predictable, stay-at-home type life filled with routines and obligations. Do you want that?

No? yeah I thought so…

The super boring life is actually one of the biggest reasons why “early relationships” (people who go on 1-6 dates) FAIL: it quickly becomes a routine, something that doesn’t excite at all. Why is it a super boring life? Because guys take their date to the same damn place almost every time or do the same stuff on almost every date.

You have to show a woman that she has a chance to be a part of your exciting lifestyle…

Show her your life is awesome and that she has a shot of joining the fun, the adventures, the risks, the good stuff… and she will fall in love with you. Guaranteed. Everyone wants an exciting life. People are drawn to those who have an exciting lifestyle…

The solution to the problem of the super boring future with you is real easy: switch things up.. and be unpredictable.

Go and do on a date what’s not expected from you, like indoor rock climbing, winetasting, or doing a little surfing competition against your date.

But whatever you do, be playful: don’t just sit there and talk. Tell her you’re feeding desser to her and then tease her with the spoon that “accidentally” misses her mouth. That kinda stuff.

And instead of going to the same place every time, try going to several places with entirely different atmospheres. Take her on an adventure date full of fun and energy the first time. Then take her on a very romantic date. Then take her on a totally relaxing date (a health spa, tanning on the beach, a beachwalk, a forest walk, a picknick, etc.)

Here’s a juicy secret: one of the most successful seducers that ever lived also used this strategy of changing atmospheres. He also went from adventure to romance to relaxed to mysterious atmospheres.

Wanna know his name?

His name is Casanova.

To summarize how to get a second date here:

- Lower your expectations and only think as far as “let’s see what happens” about your date
- Don’t say I love you and/or confess your feelings too early. Wait at least until date number 6
- Not confessing your feelings too early does NOT mean you can’t kiss a woman or have sex with her. Go as far as you can physically, but be careful emotionally or you ruin your chances…
- Show a woman a future with you is exciting and awesome: do something different and go to different places during several dates
- Change atmopshere during a dates or during multiple dates: go from adventure to romance, from relaxed to mysterious. Just like Casanova.

Here are some questions for the comments about how to get a second date:

1) If you think back, how many times did you fail to get past the first date? Do you know why?
2) Have you ever said “I love you” too fast? Can you name any other reason why you failed to go from date to relationship up until now?
3) What do YOU think is the best way to get a second date, a third date, and so on?

I love to hear from you, so be sure to comment with your thoughts or answers to my questions!

And now? Now this movie maniac and coffee worshipper is going to combine his two addictions by watching A-Team the movie while drinking his black gold with extra extra sugar.

I grew up on the A-Team series as a kid so I’m worried that this movie will be one big damn disappointment. But we will see that in a minute now won’t we? I hope you remember my advice on getting a second date when the time is right… and now it’s B.A. Baraccus time!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

P.S. Want more tips about keeping the attraction going? About keeping things interesting?

Click the link below NOW to get my Simple Inner Game System:

Get the Simple Inner Game System

P.P.S. What you’ve just seen above were just the basics of my thoughts on women, dating, and creating attraction, and if you want to get a ton of other tips about how to create GIANT amounts of attraction without much effort? Then sign up for my newsletter below…

Want to see a sneak preview of the newsletter first? Check out the Newsletter Archive

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I decided it was time for some humor by sharing with you my serious and not so serious thoughts on meeting classy women, meeting sophisticated women, artsy women, or whatever you’d like to call them.

Courtesy of my friend Ashok: anyone looking to impress their date with their wine knowledge? This is the blog post you need to read, lol!

But seriously… women LOVE wine. Almost ALL women do. So who knows, knowing this stuff may come in handy some day…

You are planning on taking that special woman to a fine restaurant and showing her a night to remember. There is just one problem: you know next to nothing about ordering wine. Luckily you are planning on a true fine dining experience so the staff will become your secret allies in helping you look like a winner to your date.

A fine restaurant will always present the wine list to the man. It’s an unwritten restaurant rule. Not to worry, everything you need to know to impress your date is right here.

If your date is a wine enthusiast (= a near-alcoholic wine junkie) she may already express what wine she likes best. If this is true then your job just got WAY easier. Following to her wishes takes the burden off you and has the added bonus of making you look like a true gentleman.

If she and her (probably blonde) hair don’t know ANYTHING about wine, it never hurts to do some research. This is especially true if you want to impress your hot date.

Knowing more than the basics of wine and how to order will make you look classy, intelligent, like a gentleman… which DEFINITELY makes you stand out from the other cavemen she might have dated.

10 Tips When Ordering Wine

1. Consider the restaurant you will be taking her to. A simple menu will make it easier to choose the right wine to get her drunk and have sex… excuse me… I mean to have an awesome date!

2. Check out the wine selection in advance, either online or in person.

3. Wine prices can vary big time, so know your budget. There are wines that cost hundreds of bucks.

4. American wines tend to get their names from the type of grapes they are made from, like chardonnay.

5. French and Italian wines are named for the regions they come from.

6. Wines take different times to “mature”. A good chardonnay can take 20 years to mature, so never pick one less than four years old. Why? Because it tastes like sh*t and you don’t want to spit wine all over the floor of a restaurant do you? That ruins your whole gentleman-like behavior of the rest of the night, lol!

7. Ask for help from the Sommelier (pronounced “Som-mel-yay), or wine expert. He makes your job of picking a good wine WAY easier.

8. Avoid looking cheap in front of your date. Point to a wines price and ask your waiter their opinion of that selection. They should get the hint and make a suggestion in your price range.

9. When the waiter brings your wine to you for your approval here is what you do:

- Look at the label to make sure it is what you ordered

- Look at the cork of the bottle (do not try to smell it) to make sure the wine was stored properly

- Allow the waiter to pour a small amount into your glass, tilt your glass slightly, swirl your glass gently and bring it to your nose for a sniff. Does it smell good? Or does it stink like crazy? If it smells like vinegar send it back. If not, then allow the waiter to fill your date’s glass and then yours

10. Red wine usually goes with meat. White wine goes with lighter foods. Champagne goes with almost anything.

The best thing to do if you truly get stuck when ordering wine is to ask for help from your waiter or the sommelier (he’s the wine nerd, remember?).

As long as the woman you’re on a date with is not a total wine b*atch, you can count on the ten tips above to make it through wine ordering.

If you really want to up your game and look like the classiest guy in the entire damn restaurant?

Ask your date if she prefers a crisp or fruity flavored wine. It shows you care about her tastes.

If you and your date are trying food you usually don’t eat, like spicy Indian food, you should know that red wine is a bad choice. Pinot Noir is a good choice with spicy food.

And if you think using the sommelier (wine expert) as your wingman is weak, for losers, or gay? Then here are some “go to” wines that are sure to please almost every woman you go out with:

- Screaming Eagle
- Opus One
- Silver Oak

So relax… and order the wine like a man and make your date feel like the lucky lady she is. She’s lucky allright… because she has the chance to go out with a confident, awesome, and REAL man: YOU!

For more helpful dating tips especially on how to find your dream Indian Women, check out Ashok’s shaddi.com page!

Some questions you can comment on:

1) Did you ever need knowledge of wines on a date?
2) Do you ever drink wine? Or are you an anti-culture barbarian who only likes beer?

All this talk about foods and drinks is making me hungry and thirsty… so I’m going for top notch Pringles chips with excellent “maturation” together with an exquisite cup of black gold (coffee).

I can almost hear you think: “Dennis Miedema is the classiest guy around with his superb coffee manners and Pringles eating skills”.

I know! Thank you for saying that… lol!

But for real… if you ever go to a restaurant with a woman and she wants wine? Remember this blog post dude… I’m out!

To More Dating Success,

Dennis Miedema
Win With Women

Want more tips for where to take women on a date? Want to have dates with a “happy ending”?

Click the link below to get my Simple Inner Game System:

Get the Simple Inner Game System

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