I have this friend of mine.

He’s got sick game – if you’re a single guy hitting the scene, you would love to go out with him.

And if you’re a guy looking for that one awesome girlfriend, he’d be the perfect guy to hit the scene with too, since he always seem to meet a future girlfriend when we go out together.

He’s great at opening, getting physical, winging and has an awesome, positive attitude about everything.\

A true badass.

But he has one skill that could be better, one he’s currently working on, one that A LOT of guys struggle with at first.

It’s getting tested, or more precisely, passing tests.

We know girls are going to test you, especially if you’re leading things somewhere sexual.

And if you’re in a relationship, they’re going to test you EVEN MORE because they constantly want to make sure they’re not investing in mediocrity.

Women testing you is as inevitable as me going crazy with vodka red bull on my birthday.

But do you know why they really test?

Why they almost always feel a need to throw it back at you first before they excitedly surrender to your alpha will?

It’s because they feel a deep, hardwired need to make sure you’re as legit as you’re appearing.

They have to ensure you’re congruent with the guy they’re seeing, that you’re not just putting on an act. Of course, they don’t think any of this consciously but it almost always comes out with a snappy remark, a statement of disinterest or a momentary, purposeful lack of apparent interest.

Let’s say me and you go out one night here in LA and I’m talking to a really hot girl just off the dance floor.

We’re flirting back and forth. I’m staring her down.

She says, “What are you thinking about..“.

I calmly reply, “Just about what it’d be like to kiss you right now..”.

She snaps back, “No, I don’t know what you think is happening tonight but we’re not kissing.”

I smirk, “Of course not. Why would two awesome people attracted to each other want to kiss? Let’s go dance..” as I take her by the hand and lead her onto the dance floor.

You see where her test was.

The whole we’re not kissing tonight thing.

Look at how I responded in that situation.

I agreed with her (offering zero resistance) and sarcastically absurdified the situation.

To the outsider, this looks like a witty response a charming badass named Jason would say. They would be correct.

But at its core, it screams something much deeper about me….Indifference. Nonneediness. Abundance.

The guy who “needed” the girl would hear her tell him we’re not kissing tonight, and freak. And all that playfulness and non neediness he had been showing her before, which had been attracting her, would quickly appear fraudulent to her, now that he’s freaking and reacting.

If he really was that cool, he wouldn’t care if he gets me tonight or not, she thinks..

The guy who can get any girl in the building laughs inside when she says something like that.

It would be in congruent for him to react at all.

He might laugh, ignore it, agree and absurdify sarcastically (like I did) or maybe blatantly change the subject to something more interesting to him, than her talking about “not kissing”.

What he wouldn’t do is emotionally react, which is the secret to passing all tests at the core of things, in a bar, club AND relationship.

If she gets an emotional reaction out of you, you’re done.

If she doesn’t, and instead you still remain playful, relaxed, intent….well now, she’s done.

And yours.