You see, Pete – that guy in the seminar – had a problem with his perception, not his skills.

He NEEDED to avoid this “failure” because he had a fragile definition of his own value as a man. His NEED was what made meeting women seem like ‘work’ to him. Everything he would do to meet women would be a “risk” to him.

Most guys NEED a woman to give him a phone number to call it a ‘success.’

Then it becomes a NEED for her to go out on a date with him to keep feeling ‘successful…’

And then it will be his NEED to get that date to end with a kiss…

Then it will be a NEED to get to sleep with her…

At every corner, there’s some “failure” waiting for him – instead of enjoying the fun of it all.

Pretty soon, you’re not in it for the experience. You’re in it to fill an endless hole inside you.

Exaggeration?

Maybe. But probably not.

In order to get good at meeting and attracting women, you have to let go of this NEEDS and “SUCCESS”-oriented thinking.

Redefine ‘success’ for yourself.

Expecting success is the dog’s tail that you will chase until you die. Until you’re able to let this NEED to have every contact with a woman end up a certain way, you’ll always have a goal that’s always just outside your reach.

THIS is the root cause issue to be addressed: Most guys are focused way too much on “imaginary failure.”

The penalties…

The “rejection…”

Focusing on your “success ratio” is also just another way to avoid getting out there and DOING it.

Trying to avoid failure is what losers are made of.

The only difference between a player, an Alpha Man – a guy who gets WAY above-average success with women – and the “average frustrated chump” out there is his attitude towards the process. The ladies man doesn’t go into it with a NEED for success in ANY of his encounters.

Why?

Because Women can smell this NEED a mile away.

When you’re so results-oriented that you can’t pay attention and BE in the moment, enjoying the presence of another women, you seem desperate and insecure. And THAT is the last thing a woman wants to get involved with. (Unless she happens to be desperate and insecure, and that’s something YOU don’t want to get involved with.)

Here’s something else for you to remember: The reason you don’t get the other 70% of the women usually HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

Women are flakes.

It’s just the way it is between human beings. I used to get all worked up over it, but it just doesn’t matter in the end.

I can get angry at rain for being wet, and it will ALWAYS be wet. And if I insist that it changes, guess who’s getting the raw end of that deal?

Remember, don’t argue with reality. The source of all pain in our lives is from wishing things were different than they actually are.

Stop working out the ratios and just get out there and have some FUN!

If you do that, everything else takes care of itself. You’ll have a warm, present vibe that women will be attracted to.

And then you know what happens?

You start getting 4 out of 10 women. Then 5 out of ten…

Yes, you can do much better than 3 out of 10. But that’s only after you let go of thinking that this is bad. Your ability only gets better once you stop caring about The Ones That Got Away.

Keep improving, keep striving. Get out of your head, and let go of expectations.

Play the game to PLAY it, and in no time your skill will be FANTASTIC. And you’ll win ALL the time when you get to that point. In fact, I hesitate to say that until you can win all the time RIGHT NOW – exactly where you are – you might never really find the success you seek.

You define the rules of this game. So set them up in your favor.

Every professional athlete out there that has any staying power and success LOVES THE GAME more than he NEEDS to win. The love of the game came first.

Get in the game for the FUN of it, and get everything you deserve as a man.

Stay Alpha…

– Carlos Xuma