4nim4ted Column – Putting A Woman On A Pedestal
I went to Italy a couple years back. Stay away from the crazy taxi drivers. Naturally we went sightseeing around Rome and the Vatican. Everywhere we went there were statues and statuettes, people frozen in stone, lifeless for tourists to gawk at. A particular famous statue that comes to mind whenever I think of the Italy trip is the Venus de Milo (Aphrodite of Milos). Aphrodite, the model woman according to the Greeks and the Romans, one look at her could excite a man to insanity… Aphrodite perched loftily on a stone pedestal gazing softly back at you…
Guess what?
That’s not your woman.
Every guy has one time or another put someone on a pedestal. I know I have. At the time, she was the perfect girl for me. She had amazing deep brown eyes, shimmering black hair, a smile to die for… and six feet of stone base separating her from where I stood. I put her up on a pedestal and treated her like my Aphrodite, my goddess. I went and bought her things, hung out around her exclusively, got jealous whenever she would have a fun time with other guys…
I was a creepy weirdo.
There has been one time in your life when you really liked a girl and she didn’t like you back. I can’t know all the reason why it didn’t work out, but most definitely one of the reasons was that you put her on a pedestal. Women don’t like being put on pedestals.
Why?
Because it implies perfection. In this day and age of the media world, women are constantly prodded to be perfect. Everyone has to be photoshopped (even for a school picture), they need to be an ideal weight, an ideal height, wear make-up(you’d be surprised how early make-up is worn these days), the television highlights swimsuit models, plastic surgery…everything that they’re not. They’re taught from an early age from today’s society that they’re not good enough. They can wear all the makeup they want, get all the photoshopped pictures, wear anti-aging cream, yet at every moment they are reminded of how imperfect they are. They could be the hottest girl in the entire planet, but they’ll be somebody hotter coming around the corner. They’ll get a year older, or another wrinkle…and they’re scared of that.
Think of all the insecurities and fears you bring up to her mind when you put her up on a pedestal. You’re going, “Wow, you’re absolutely amazing. I love you.” She’s thinking, OMG HOLY f–k HE THINKS I’M PERFECT. What’s going to happen when he finds out I’m not, cause I’m not perfect. She can’t fall in love with you, because you have fallen in love with an illusion. That’s a scary thought for women. When we tell women they’re perfect, it scares the living s–t out of them. Because they know they’re not. And if they are perfect then, they won’t be. People, unlike statues aren’t preserved for time. They won’t be around forever. When you pedestal her you are telling her, I love you…right now. She’s thinking, “What about later?”
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Onward…
Don’t put women up on pedestals. Every woman you meet, no matter how perfect you think they are, have issues and human failings. Pedestaling makes you blind! In my case I was blinded to the fact that sometimes she can be a bit childish and petty. I do that all the time, of course. Yet, during my interactions with her, she was so high above me, I couldn’t see her human side. She is human, she will make mistakes, she will make you hurt, just like you can hurt her. Don’t put her on a pedestal. Acknowledge her for who she is. Tell her how great you think she is, but remind her and yourself that yes, she is human and she’s not flawless.
Yeah, I like you and I think you’re amazing, but I know you’re human. You’re not perfect and neither am I. I don’t want you to be. I’m not putting you up on a pedestal. Be yourself. It’s okay. I love you for everything you are, and I accept you as you are.
Just don’t snore. :p
I hope you find this article helpful and enlightening.
– 4nim4ted
And hey…some women have also told me to include they find pedestaling annoying. I find that goes more into the realm of neediness and clinginess but I feel it should be pointed out. Also to the women that are reading this: i was not trying to imply that women are shallow. “Shallow” was not my intention. I was merely highlighting the concept of perfection as it is. “She could be the hottest girl…” not she has to be. I’m highlighting media bias. Society has role-models for the way they say we should be. (Models super skinny), Abercombie male models (6 pack omg) etc. Everyone tries hard to please other people. I’m guilty of that crime. So when I say they get a year older, another wrinkle, I’m just implying they don’t live up to society’s model of the “perfect woman.” Not all women want to (in fact only a small fraction do) but when men model them as such, it is pretty scary because you can’t see her for who she is. You want her to live up to that expectation of perfection. She will always be happy, always be cheerful, always be available for you (of course not) and she can’t. and she won’t. You will be disappointed and hurt and she’ll squirm and be like f–k I lead him on. Don’t let that happen. Hope this clarifies some issues!
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