It’s i4nim4ted here, posting from my new Mac Book! It took me 3 freaking hours to fix up a mishap (those of you who I talked with know what I’m on about) but here I am. And today I promise I will talk about the Juggler Method less than I always do, lol!

Recently I’ve been pondering about just the community in general. Personally for myself, I’ve noticed that I’ve been too caught up in the method. And as I trawl these boards I see my symptoms too. “WHAT DO TO BUILD RAPPORT? I perspective! OEQ (Open-Ended Questions)! smile more! use the vacuum!”

Three days ago, this guy Rourke and I were chatting and I brought up the concept of “I perspective.” I had recently read sometihing and I had just been hit by doubts that maybe, just maybe I wasn’t doing it right.

I had become a slave to the method.

While I was wallowing in self doubt Rourke had some good thoughts.
“Don’t, he said, read too much into things. Don’t turn the I Perspective into a routine. The I perspective is all about being honest and saying whatever the f–k comes to your head as long as it’s authentic.”

I was looking for a magic bullet.

*Use so many I statements and she’ll relate! Be charming and ask OEQ and you will get laid. omg.*

My quest for Jugglerdom was offset by a lack of genuineness! I always thought I cared about talking to people, but whenever I met someone I didn’t find attractive my “charm factor” would turn off. I was genuine only when I wanted to be. I feel that’s a problem that a lot of us go through. The Juggler Method is about being genuinely interested in people, to like the other person (not always) but for me, I was selective and only hit the on switch when it counted, from my POV.

But i realized something today that NSD had been trying to tell me earlier. I was in the DPS office getting a Texas ID. I had just purchased the book Zen and the Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance. It was a hot, muggy day and I had just finished working out for 2 hours. I was stuck in an overcrowded office room jammed between an asian girl cramming for her license test and an old woman. I did not want to talk. Period.

But, as I am loathe to do, I figured I would open the Asian girl, well you know, just because she’s asian. She wasn’t super attractive but the book was grating on my nerves at this particular time and I didn’t want to be left sitting there doing nothing.

So I opened her with some situation opener about driving. Her name was Allison and she was a sophomore (freaking yikes, damn all the girls these days look older). I talked about not being able to drive yet and we talked for a bit. She was too tensed up about her upcoming exam to open up too much.

On the left of me was an old woman who looked about 60ish. The heat was getting to me and I did not particular feel the desire to open her. So i just sat and drudged on with the book.

“OOH YOU’RE READING THAT BOOK?” I looked up, confused and kinda annoyed. The old woman was looking at me excitedly. “I only read up to halfway.” she said. f–k, I had an unwanted prop opener.

Not wanting to be rude, I grudgingly started talking, honestly wondering what it would take for me to get out of this terrible heat. But as I continued, things warmed up. She was such an interesting person!
Her name was Jessie and she had probably done every single job (except CA instructor :p) known to mankind. Antique dealer, welder?!, babysitter, teacher, biker, druggie chick, mystic. You name it.
She was a freaking beast! She knew the Juggler Method! Indirectly, of course. But as we broached on the subject of relationships, she sounded like Juggler’s female counterpart…

I was suddenly ashamed of myself. I always preach genuineness here on the blog but I had not given this lady a chance. How much would I have missed had I not opened her up?

Suddenly something NSD told me came up to mind.

nonstopdrivel: Girls have so much love to give.  Women at 82 respond to the same “tricks” as girls at 2. It’s almost endearing and cute.

me: but how do you cultivate an interest in fliritng with 82 year olds. how do you embrace that mindset

nonstopdrivel: Tell an 82-year-old she’s sexy and beautiful just once and you’ll see how rewarding it is.
She might just put you in her will (I’m exaggerating of course). You said you like to make people feel happy. Then make women feel sexy.

me: alright

nonstopdrivel: Try it. The next little girl you see — tell her how beautiful she looks in her little dress and watch her beam and lisp out a “Thank you!

me: by SOIs?

nonstopdrivel: By treating them as desirable.

Keyword here: TREATING THEM AS DESIRABLE PEOPLE.

Although we debated lots of things, including the Juggler Method off course, I didn’t understand what he meant when he said that. But now I think I do. Women are a gift that all of us have an opportunity to receive. They aren’t some trophy prize just waiting to be f–ked. They are beautiful, loving, creatures in every aspect of the word, regardless of age or race. Loving relationships in general are built on mutual respect and adoration for one another.

By pursuing the method to a T I had lost my initial “AFC” impression of women. That they are to be adored. Cared for, and treated as amazing. I wasn’t being honest with who I was.

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Onward…

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean adored to the extent of becoming needy and clingy. I love all women, but I don’t serve that love. They will get nothing but respect and love from me, but not slavish devotion.

But realize what wonderful creatures these beings are. They want to give you love, they want to give you joy. You just have to give them the opportunity! By thinking solely about how you can use a method to get them you are missing so much more. The method is great. I love it. But there are times when you overthink it and miss the big picture. Don’t let that happen.

Love and adore women, don’t just want them for sex! Sex without connection is just athletics.

Become a person that adores and loves not only the women he’s with, but all women.

-i4nim4ted

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