CONFIDENCE – Part 3 – Boundaries
Have you ever thought about someone and realized, you always know where they stand?
They say what they mean and they follow through with what they say they will do. This is a person that elicits trust and respect from others. They are, in essence, a “No Bullshit” kind of person. If you cross them, you know what the penalty will be. And it will be swift and certain. That is because this person understands and utilizes their boundaries in a very solid and strong way, from a position of inner strength. Do you?
Has anyone ever cheated on you? Did you say that was unforgivable, yet still stay with that person after? If so, let me guess, they did it again, right? Probably.
How about the same thing with lying? Disrespecting you? Stealing from you? What did you do? Did you leave them? Or did you give them just… one… more… chance…?
If you did the latter, my friend…
You have some serious issues with your personal boundaries.
What exactly are boundaries? Well, in a nutshell, they are your own personal rules of conduct that you will accept from the outside world. A boundary is a line that should not be crossed by others in their dealings with you. When this line is crossed, there will, and most importantly, MUST be consequences. If she does “A,” then “B” will happen. Period.
We, as men know that women are constantly testing us. And yes, the women know it too. They are actually not testing you, per se, but they are testing your boundaries. They need to know how far they can push before you push back. They want to know that you are a strong man with a firm resolve; when you say something, you mean it. This helps them respect and believe in you, they feel safe with you knowing that you have their back, so to speak.
I heard it said that a woman was asked why she was testing her man, and she responded, “How can I know you will stand up for me, if you won’t stand up to me?” This espouses the quintessential need for boundaries in a relationship. And they serve a great purpose in the realm of confidence for you. They are the walls of your structure.
We discussed your foundation in the Kai Zen piece earlier (part 1 and part 2). You lay the foundation with knowledge, you build the walls with commitment; to yourself and those around you….
