Ever thought of how in the HELL you would pass that difficult exam during college? I know I did.
Were you ever stressed to the LIMIT about how to make a good impression during a jobinterview for the…‘job of a lifetime’?

Off course, we’ve ALL been through these kind of situations. In fact I know a lot of men, BOTH those succesfull with women and those that are unsuccesfull with them, that just CAN’T seem to get to that next level. They FAIL to make that one little step up on their way to bigger game. The reason for why many people fail to go to the next level with certain aspects of their life is by getting too bothered about the OUTCOME : limited believing the end result and attaching ALL of their self-worh to it.
I’ll give you an example of what I mean by this right now:

Say your name is Kobe Bryant, and you and your Lakers really want to win from the Celtics this year. YOUR team wants to claim that prize. In fact, they haven’t claimed that prize for so long that the Lakers actually NEED it, crave it, and they absolutely MUST make that final Bryant slamdunk in order to ever THINK of claiming that prize again. Because what are the Lakers without you, the most important player in your own universe? If you want to move ahead, the entire game ahead, you need to score that one final slamdunk and you know it. You FEEL like the fate of your entire progress depends on it.

So guess what this does to you, this total fixation on that end outcome? It places pressure on you, enormous pressure. You in your mind are conceiving that you can NOT make any progress unless you are succesful with this particular endeavour and as such your mind starts to believe it, and achieve it.

The consequences: as that one ‘all deciding’ action comes closer and closer the body starts to produce more and more adrenaline, gets more and more pressured in order to live up to the high bar (the SKYHIGH bar) you’ve set for yourself.

This BAR SETTING is pure self-frustration and the killer thoughts come in at the moment of truth: wow…I haven’t closed a woman for a while now, will I be able to pull it off after ALL that time? Wow…I haven’t had sex with a woman for some time now, will I be able to please both HER and me after all that time? Etc. To clarify it using bar setting: if the Chinese Emperor said to all the Chinese people we NEED that wall by, hmm..NOW and if you won’t finish then China won’t make progress and it’ll CRASH and BURN to the ground…do you really think they would pull the Great Wall off? Hell NO. By setting that unreachable bar for yourself you get negative self-talk in the form of doubts, fear of rejection, fear of failure etc. = hesitation = inaction = missed opportunities = BYE progress, because paradoxically by making your life depend on making progress, you WON’T progress!

It’s because by focusing TOO much on the end result, that you get worried about: can I still do this, what if I kiss her wrong, what if the timing is wrong, what if the location is wrong? You become the overanalyzer, while that end result moment is THE one moment to be IN the moment. You basically SHOOT your own Kobe Bryant in the foot by limited believing yourself into thinking the close/kiss/fuck whatever is the end goal and if not achieved thus the end of the road…YOUR road to succes AND that last minute realization of ‘inexperience’ (collective term for all mentioned above). If you’re SO fixated on that one, single outcome…do you really think and believe that you can maintain an indifferent and thus calm composure and with this control the situation, control where it’s going? HELL NO. You care the world about the outcome, so your regular Pick Up Artist attitude of knowing you have options, indifference etc. DIES at the spot.

***NOTE*** But if you want to master your way of thinking (your “Inner Game”) to create an astonishingly powerful mindstate in which fears, insecurities and other bad habits don’t exist anymore…then the Win With Women 2.0 e-zine is something you DON’T want to miss out on

Onward…

Everyone experiences this sooner or later in his life and busts his own balls on why he KEEPS doing this and what the solution is, I know I did! Until I realized this simple, but illusive obvious truth. The Italians have a saying: aim for the moon, while settling for the stars. It means: if you visualize ANY upcoming difficult events as already part of your road ahead, so as just another floor you pas in your life’s lift heading up, you will experience FAR LESS difficulty doing it. This is pure auto-suggestion people, and very logical too. Think of it as this: say you are a fulltime employee working for YEARS now for this major multinational energy company where every guy working there is basically a worker bee lost in the f*cking enormous beehive..just forget about promoting. So you hate it, you hate the fact that you have to go to work FEELING and THINKING that there are no brighter days ahead, you fear that there won’t be any…and THEN. Then you hear this major project is coming up and everybody who participates and does well, will be made manager of the floor you work on. BUT…it has to be completed before friday to get that prize, and it’s now monday. You start to stress, flip, trip and basically freak out about EVERY little thing that seemingly doesn’t go well while working on your own version of the project and when that friday finally comes…what do you do?

You slept horribly awful the night before, show up late and thus unshaven for your presentation..all the CEOs are looking at you..will you do it?

No, you can hardly get any words out of your mouth and finally you crack, forget about it, excuse yourself and go home. This is exactly what most guys go through and DO with their dating lives, but now…IMAGINE THIS!

You’re that same guy, that same worker bee bummed out dude who’s getting sick of the company politics and you hear of the project on monday, and it still needs to be done by Friday. But this time around, you plan for something afterwards: a 7 day vacation for yourself on Saturday to Las Vegas to go and live your ultimate dream of gambling in the worlds nicest casino’s with alll the bright lights, neon might and…strippers, lol. Also, two weeks ago this friend of yours told you about job openings at his firm in a totally different branch but MUCH more to your interest and he invited you to go and talk to his friend, the CEO.

Riddle: which one will do BETTER with the project?
Guy A) totally fixated on the project as his end goal, his end of the road…
or Guy B) who has a couple of VERY nice events taking place after the project, with the project being one small piece of the bigger picture?

Answer: Guy B, because he’s WAY more relaxed and while A was stressing mister B was figuring out ALL kinds of cool things to do during the presentation so it makes him be better prepared too. And even if he doesn’t become the manager, it ISN’T the end of his life.

Ping! I can hear the lightbulb in the minds of those reading this switching on…
because it’s EXACTLY what men should have as mindstate when it comes to women and dating.
F*CK any individual close, result, date or bump…because it’s all about keeping the road going!
I once got many @ and # closes, many…but couldn’t close ANY of them, much the same as you guys are experiencing RIGHT NOW.

As soon as I let go and settled for the stars while aiming at the moon?
I kid you not, I had my first fuck close after being almost 1,5 year on a dryspell!

So STOP limited believing in the END result, and START believing in the INTERMEDIATE result my friend.

That’s what it’s all about…

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

P.S. What you\'ve learned today is only the tip of the iceberg of what most men will never know about women and dating. And if you want to know more about how to meet women without much effort, then I highly recommend you get our FREE Inner Game Newsletter right away. Click here now to get more free tricks, tips, and strategies!