You’re dating this cute girl that lives not far from you, about two blocks away. You got her using the skills and techniques that you learned from various dating systems and everything is going well…you EVEN had her in your bed, multiple times. The succes is unbelievable yet everywhere in fact, you’re thinking about trying to close ANOTHER girl. But then this one drops the bomb on you and tells you she LOVES you. You freak out, you panic and are at a loss of words that moment…because you were JUST dating her and wanted to leave it at that. Now she’s told you this, you have doubts: “I’d better stick around right? Otherwise I’ll break her heart right?” but while you’re saying yes to everything she suggests, you THINK no. Because all this time, you wanted to date multiple girls and get more experience in the game. And now…now you really DON’T know what to do anymore because you’re contradicting yourself: be the gentleman, stick to her vs. be a man, dump the chick!

Your conscience is battling with your deepest desires, leaving you confused, full of doubt, procrastinating any big decision. BUT…is it REALLY your own conscience talking to you? NO…it is the matrix, the social programming you were born and raised with.

Now when we’re born our minds our blank, like empty sheets of paper. But as we grow older we start to form frames of reference in our mind: we create concepts, ideas, understandings, rules, and “realities” for ourselves.These frames then rule and dominate everything else up to the point of making up our constructed MODEL of the world, our Matrix. The older we get, the more stuck and programmed with these frames we’ll be because we’ve simply experienced the reality longer so it’s harder to detach ourselves from it. We all live in The Matrix of our minds: the layers upon layers of states and beings that arise from these selfmade structures. When we frame, we create and enter into a Matrix of our own making. It becomes an ASSUMED world and we become it’s slave…blind to it, unaware to it and engaged in unquestioning compliance to it. This may sound a little too theoretical to you, so here’s an example of the frames of reference:

“Say you love hiphop: 50 Cent, Lil’ Wayne, Snoop Dogg…you love the music that they make. It has DEEP bass and kicks to a slow rhytm, making it a banging beat with some smooth rhymes delivered in an unique way. As such, the hiphopper is more inclined to like music with slow rhytms and not the REALLY fast ones, for example those of drum & bass. This is a frame. Now, the hiphopper sees a lot of rappers wearing baggy pants, xl shirts and bling in their video’s…so he’s more inclined to love baggy clothing and shiny jewelry. Another frame. When he listens to a lot of gangster rap for a long enough amount of time, his opinion towards gang activities changes slowly but steadily. This doesn’t mean he start shooting people the next day, no not necessarily, but it DOES mean that for example stories about gangs on the news bother him less then they bother other people. FRAME. Now this hiphopper hangs around with his hiphop friends, so he can’t afford to speak everyday American, wear polo’s, have ‘neat’ hair and love ballet. He is now EXPECTED to love and do the same as his peers do and he does without even realizing himself. FRAME!”

As you can see, people program theirselves (not purposely, but thanks to their subconscious mind) and GET programmed by their group (thanks to collective consciousness). The Matrix gives to each participant the perceptions, anchored responses, and self-contained environment that makes the world inhabitable thanks to it’s programming of YOUR mind (with the help of the collective consciousness): think of societal views on monogamy, men, women, dating, etc., our religious beliefs, feminism, what our leaders tell us to do, biological causes and the history of our people (tribal mentalities, rules and regulations, etc.).

So too with the personal Matrix which each of us inherit and create and then impose upon the world thanks to our upbringing, the media and the women in our lives. The world that we see is a virtual reality, a world of our own making. We live in a Frame World. How’s yours? Is it a nice place to live? While you can detect a framed world from the activities or elements that you see and experience at the primary level, the Matrix itself emerges from the frames that construct it. This explains why we can experience an activity in a number of ways. Think about how you’ll experience a compliment differently when angry, sad, normal, busy, etc.

The Matrix is also Self-Perpetuating, Self-Organizing. Once constructed and commissioned, it has “a life of its own.” It begins with the frames that we use to punctuate events and activities. Then, in the process of framing, we set up classifications, categories, concepts, etc., the frames that create our Neuro-Semantic States. Then the frames become energized so that they operate systemically. This transforms them into self-organizing systems and the frames as attractors. That’s why it’s so hard to UNLEARN it. Now ALL of these factors of the collective consciousness and the personal matrix PREVENT us from being all we can we be, from LIMITING our succes with women and dating.
And DON’T think our limited beliefs are the cause of JUST a lack of confidence. When we frame, we bracket. We establish the beginning and endings of things: we limit ourselves. We establish where a frame starts and stops. We establish what’s on each side of a frame boundary. Framing involves boundary markers or brackets which allow us to recognize the activities that are inside the frame (our comfort zone) and those that remain outside (leads to feeling uncomfortable). You can check out this guy who clarifies some of the terms in this article on YouTube. Now he talks about the matrix from the perspective of how governments and influential people program us…but he STILL gives really VALUABLE info on our reality creation, the projection of our perspective on the outside world, collective consciousness, etc. His name is David Icke, look for his ‘the secrets of the matrix’ videos on YouTube.

***NOTE*** I’ve discovered many other illusive obvious ways of easily approaching women that can HELP make approaching much easier for you..so you can begin starting conversations with attractive ladies you couldn’t talk to before, meet more women than you EVER did..and end up with a date with the woman of your CHOICE, and not the woman you have to settle for.

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Now…lets dig a little deeper into the personal matrix and the collective matrix.

The Collective Consciousness

Us humans like to think of ourselves as unique, individual beings in a fast-changing society that’s full of individualizaton. But as we ALL know, we’re FAR from being alone and share this planet with billions of other people. Our minds however, or better said: our subconscious minds, are in tune with each other. This is caused by what scientist call “The 100th Monkey Syndrome.” It hypothesises that there is a point at which if only one more person tunes in to a new awareness, a field of energy is strengthened so that new awareness is picked up by almost everyone. Explanation:

In his book The Hundredth Monkey, Ken Keyes, Jr. wrote about scientists who had been observing monkeys in the wild for thirty years. In 1952, on the Japanese island of Koshima, they provided monkeys with sweet potatoes which they had dropped in sand. The monkeys liked the taste of the potatoes but found the sand unpleasant. One day, an eighteen month old monkey named Imo washed the potatoes in a nearby stream. She taught the trick to her mother and her playmates, who taught it to their mothers. Apparently 99 monkeys learned to wash their sweet potato between 1952 and 1958. Once the 100th monkey learnt this suddenly, almost every monkey on the island began to wash their potatoes before eating them. The added energy of this 100th monkey had somehow created a behavioural breakthrough. More amazing, the scientists observed that the act of washing sweet potatoes had jumped over the sea, because the colonies of monkeys on other islands, as far as 500 miles away, began washing their sweet potatoes. Now guess what happens with 6 BILLION people on earth? An awareness is reinforced in a lot of ways by a lot of people making the frame of reference for it VERY strong.

This phenomenon is considered to be due to critical mass. When a limited number of people know something in a new way, it remains the conscious property of only those people. The Hundredth Monkey Syndrome hypothesises that there is a point at which if only one more person tunes in to a new awareness, a field of energy is strengthened so that new awareness is picked up by almost everyone. It means the limiting programming around women and dating, our lovelife, is NOT only inherited (which is bad enough), but it’s programming our mind WHILE we live too! You can find more about the 100th Monkey Syndrome HERE: http://www.i-change.biz/100monkey.php.

The Personal Matrix

When we’re young and our consciousness is in the formative years (before the age of 8), our mother and parents in general, tell us what is good and bad for us to do. Your mother goes: be sweet to girls will you? Be a gentleman my boy, caus if you want to win her heart you have to be romantic, buy here all these sweet things, and listen to what she has to say, respect her feelings and be there for her whenever she needs you, etc. etc. Next to this, on average humans watch AT LEAST 2,5 hours of television PER day which means by the time you’re 8 years old, you have watched 8 years x 365 days x 2.5 hours per day = 7300 HOURS of tv before you’re actually CONSCIOUS of what you’re watching. And when I think of Hollywood movies, and romcom’s like Pretty Woman in particular, what do they ALL have in common? You have to make an effort to get the girl, please her or you won’t get her, be romantic and buy dinners/gifts/flowers or she’ll won’t love you, etc. etc. But wait…there’s more! How about AFTER the formative years listening to ALLLL the crap from your ladyfriends, female relatives, female colleagues/classmates etc. telling you how they would just DIE if they would find a boy that pleases them in every way they wished for, that they need someone romantic and in tune with their thoughts and feelings and blabla. You also hear this for YEARS, but when talking to your male friends/relatives/classmates etc. you ALSO hear this for years about how they got dissed because he baught her the wrong flowers or whatever. And newsflash, WOMEN hear all this stuff, this programming, too!

As you can tell by now…these structures that make up our reality, our perception of it even, are SO big and omnipresent that it takes a while to cover them all in a way that gives you an insight on how they EFFECT you and how YOU can CONQUER them. So what I’ll do is tackle these factors I’ve stated numerous times above one by one…in the following weeks. Will YOU join me and battle these basterds with me? Unlearn the stuff and rebuild yourself to be the ideal man with succes with women and dating with me? I certainly hope so…because it’s about time we opened our eyes…

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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