As the pick up artist craze created by TV shows like Keys To The VIP, VH1 The Pick Up Artist and by books like Neil Strauss’s The Game spreads from the US all across Europe, many people get confused about what the true motives of these pick up artists are. Women especially often wonder if the sole goal of the pick up artist is to manipulate them into falling in love. With all this confusion going on, it’s only right that the facts get separated from fiction. http://www.win-with-women.com
Amsterdam, the Netherlands August 25, 2010 - Top dating coach for men Carlos Xuma, being friends with a lot of pick up artists but not being a pick up artist himself, is quick to point out that:
“What most people think pick up artists are, they’re not, and what most people think pick up artists aren’t, they are. That’s why it’s time to tell the world about the myths surrounding pick up artists from an insider’s perspective. It’s important that this story gets told because to an outsider? The lingo and jargon used by pick up artists don’t make any sense, which makes it difficult to understand them.”
To help both men and women everywhere understand pick up artists better, Carlos Xuma shares 3 common myths about the pick up artist and debunks them:
“The first myth about the pua (short for pick up artist) is that it’s an overly confident macho man who thinks he can get any woman he sees. So not true! In reality, most pick up artists hide behind a nickname they give themselves so the rest of the world doesn’t know it’s them. What’s more, they hide everything they do in the real world behind their self-made lingo that desensitizes them from the fact that real life people with real emotions are involved. For example: instead of calling a good-looking woman just that, they call her an HB (Hot Babe). Being afraid of rejection becomes AA (short for Approach Anxiety). As one can see: the nicknames and lingo are created out of insecurity and to protect the pua from getting hurt.”
Carlos Xuma continues: “Funny thing is that insecurity is so much easier to beat when guys name things as they are and confront their problems instead of hiding behind things. The nicknames actually have a negative effect on an aspiring pick up artist’s success with women because he is being taught to hide himself instead of to confront things.”
Carlos then says: “The second myth about the pua (pick up artist) is that it’s a man who’s trying to meet as many women as possible. That it’s a playboy. Not true. Although there are plenty of single pick up artists around the age of 18 with hormones sprinting through their bodies who think being a playboy is cool, the more advanced pick up artists are different. The “veterans” or so to speak know that it’s not about improving one’s sex life but about improving one’s life in general. The old-timers know that men learn the most from being in a long-term relationship and any new pick up artist who doubts that can get a question. The question is this: is it more difficult to attract a woman long enough to sleep with her for a night, or to keep her attracted for a lifetime?”
He ellaborates: “The answer is obvious: pick up artists learn more from relationships than from one night stands. This myth only exists because the majority of the pua’s get sold on the fact that one night stands are the best by the pick up companies, so the companies can create one product after another about how to get instant success. We as humans crave instant solutions to problems, which is why the pua companies keep selling the one night stand mindset.”
Carlos Xuma goes on to say: “The third myth about pick up artists is the biggest one ever: that a pua tries to get women and dates through manipulation. The reality is that the majority of the male population is subconsciously manipulating women into liking them by showing off their money, cars, and status, and by doing things like giving a woman flowers, candy, taking her to a fancy restaurant on a date and so forth. Meanwhile, no man gives his best friend flowers. Men only do that with women, so one could argue that most men are not being themselves around women because if men were truly themselves? They would not give women flowers, candy, or take them to restaurants. Men subconsciously change their behavior around women from “being themselves mode” to “need a woman’s approval mode”, which is when all the flowers and stuff follow. ”
He then says with a grin from ear to ear: “And the moral of the story is that pick up artists say “NO” to trying to impress women with materialistic stuff. A pua gives gifts on birthdays and with holidays, but not to impress a woman while normal men do try to impress with gifts. Pick up artists believe in meeting and dating women with one’s personality and charisma. People will never find a pick up artist who’s not being himself and going out of his way to get a woman’s approval. So the true manipulators are all the single men everywhere that act differently around women than around men, because pick up artists want to behave in the exact same way around women as they do around men. Women always ask for men who are themselves, which makes millions of pua’s wonder why women complain about men who are trying to be themselves!”
Carlos Xuma concludes: “The number one reason why Win With Women (his company) exists, is because pick up artists need to stop hiding behind nicknames and lingo and start living in and confronting the real world. No more hiding, only open and honest improvement of their lives. And no more one of the night stand mindset that tricks guys into believing one night stands are the quickest way to dating success. Win With Women is all about giving long-term success that lasts instead of short-term one night stand stuff. As one can see: we work very hard to debunk the myths around both pick up artists (positive and negative) and meeting and dating women itself.”
Carlos Xuma is the creator of the Simple Inner Game System about creating attraction and a trusted authority on dating advice for men. During the last 2 years, he has helped 603 men approach 10,854 women, get 2,713 phone numbers, and go on 904 dates. If not more.
Carlos has been recognized by the Seduction Syndicate (an association for dating coaches) and several dating experts across the globe (including Debra Berndt, America’s Love Expert) for giving top notch quality dating advice for men from a unique perspective.
To find out more about meeting and dating women and pick up artists go to /?p=1833 to sign up for Carlos Xuma’s newsletter with dating advice for men.
For media, PR, and interview requests, please visit
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Link to the original news item:
Top 3 Myths About Pick Up Artists:
Are They Women’s Worst Nightmare Or A Blessing In Disguise?
P.S. I have something for you that you might learn a lot from: the story of how we got started as Win With Women... which includes the problems I have had to overcome to be successful with women.
Check out the story of how we got started here
