The biggest dilemma for 99% of the men that want to know how to meet women online is: how do you get them to reply to you, to start talking with you?

Let’s first take a look at how crappy the messages in a woman’s profile inbox usually are. Attractive females receive around 20-50 messages a day, which are almost ALL the same ones (they fall into the three categories I describe below) that annoy the heck out of her. This is a big fat what NOT to do:

– You can tell a woman she’s pretty, an angel or whatever, but doing that will only make her think: how many women did you use this one on already? It’s letting her know you not even took the time to READ her profile! Or she’ll feel that your interest is only shallow (you like her for her looks), and not genuine (you like her for who she is – her personality). Being shallow KILLS attraction.

– You can tell a woman that you’re probably not here type but would love to talk to her sometime, which reads I’m already writing myself off and think I’m WAY out of your league in her language. It’s coming across insecure, and desperate. Being desperate or insecure RUINS your chances.

– You can tell a woman she’s hot and that she should add you on [email protected], but guess how many of those other 50 messages say that? Guess how needy and desperate you’ll come across, and why would she even add a stranger to her Instant Messenger or worse: call him? Being needy cripples your chances of getting her number. It’s not the way to meet women online.

These all WON’T work, because you’re telling her the wrong kinds of things, and you’re not talking to her for who she is but for how she looks. The best way to get her to respond to your message is by, drumroll please, talking to her about who she is.

But how can you start to date women online by using who they are “against” them? Good question!

I always, 24 hour a day, use HER hobbies, interests, likes, passions and activities to create attraction by teasing them about it. I let her know I’m selective, that I’m a playful guy and that I’m not afraid to challenge her for who she is all at the same time. In short: let the accusing begin!

Off course you’ll start to wonder why.

How To Meet Women Online: Why Is Teasing So Effective?

There are a number of psychological reasons for it being so darn effective as it really is, and I’d like to share them with you so you’ll know WHY you’re doing what you’re doing, and WHY it works.

– I’m teasing with accusations (see examples below), and what’s the most logical response to an accusation? Defending your case, in fact studies have shown that we’re DRAWN to explain ourselves when we’re accused of something, so a response is triggered because of human nature itself!

– Most men are intimated by a woman’s looks, even with online dating, and will either hesitate to approach her or won’t approach her at all. Next to this, they’ll try to do everything for her and be really sweet to make her like them, in short: they aim to please. Thirdly, lots of men are NERVOUS when physically around women: they feel uncomfortable, not at ease, they’re body is tense.

– But guess what happens when you tease her? You’ll show you’re NOT intimidated by her looks and NOT afraid of showing interest in her. You’re NOT trying to be someone else just so she’ll like you more or agree with everything she says, is and does like all those but kissing men out there. You’re also showing her that you’re comfortable around women, yourself around women, you’re at tease and relaxed (almost TOO relaxed). These are all attractive qualities in a man. Hell, this is the first thing I tell men who ask me how to meet women online

– Now, when you accuse her, you first of all playfully tease her which is a lot of fun, it’s exciting and she’ll want to play around MORE (and she’ll start teasing and accusing YOU because of it). Next to this, women always have been the most selective of the sexes. Why? Because men don’t run any risks when they have sex (except for STDs off course), but women? Women run the risk of becoming PREGNANT: being unstable and limited in their moments for a long period of time, plus they’ll have a child afterwards that needs to be taken care of too.

And if a woman would indulge in giving in to every guy trying to seduce her? She A) wouldn’t have a life, B) would constantly be pregnant which would make it harder and harder for her and the increasing number of children to survive and C) not every man is born equal, as such a woman will want a guy with genes that offer the highest chance of survival for her offspring.

So women NEED to be selective, they need to select a best possible mate or humankind would die pretty fast. But when YOU are the one doing the selecting with your accusing, magical things start to happen: all of a sudden YOU are perceived to be the object of desire, YOU are sought after and harassed by women who want to mate making it hard for YOU to have a life.

We want what everyone else is having, because if everything else wants it then it MUST be good, right? You’re subcommunicating that you’re amazingly good by teasing, challenging and accusing her, and since women want men with good genes? They’ll want YOU!

This is an important lesson about how to meet women online, so let’s look at some examples, shall we?

Examples

– I looked at your profile and noticed how you like spaghetti, but are NOT from Italy. Tell me: you’re NOT of those suit wearing, slick talking, gelled-out hairdo Godfather WANNABEES are you? What are you wanted for? Tell me! 😛

– I looked at your online dating profile and noticed how you like horses, and I’m kinda curious because I don’t usually hang around with horseriders that much, so is it TRUE, that horseriders get a firmer *SS from ALL that riding in the sadle? 😛

– I looked at your profile and noticed how you have BLUE eyes but DARK hair, which is an ABSOLUTE freak of nature, it never happens! 😛 So that makes me wonder, tell me, you’re a DUMB BLONDE by nature aren’t you? (A)

I can hear you think: yeah, but that would take AGES to do, right? WRONG! You just have to know what to look for on her profile, and here’s what you should be looking for:

1. As soon as you land on her profile and saw that she’s kinda cute, only pay attention to her hobbies, likes, dislikes etc. there ALL in the Interest section (or in her Description). You can recognize the Interest area of her profile by looking for the place where she answers things like Hobbies: hobby 1, 2, 3 and Music: artist 1, CD 2, etc.

2. As soon as you’ve found a couple of things you could go with, find the one that’s easiest to tease her with: say she has shopping, cooking and tae bo as her interests and you only know tae bo, make things as easy as possible for yourself and tease her with THAT: so I was looking around on your profile again and saw you’re into tae bo, getting into shape by punching and kicking your way through the day. So be honest here: How many exes did you secretly beat the crap out of and should I sleep with one eye open when I know you personally? :P. It’s accusing her of being an abusive girlfriend, an agressive lover, etc. Why go for the easiest one? Let me explain..

What’s a very predictable response to an accusation? A defense: nooo I’m not like that hahaha or that so untrue! you’re so mean, those kinds of answers. And an easy way to continue that most common reply is: all I hear is a GUILTY conscience talking you LIAR you! 😛 just admit it: you’re a threat to every boyfriend you have 😛 which will amplify the attraction even more. You see? That’s already a second message right there.

The Final Step Of How To Meet Women Online: An Intro Insight To Getting Her Contact Information

In the end, women must feel comfortable and safe enough around you to move to the next step with you. You must be a trustworthy guy, and you can make sure she feels like this by CONNECTING with her. Why is connecting with her so important? Because if you’re only accusing, sooner or later she’ll think she DOESN’T stand a chance. This is because you’re positioning yourself as more dominant than her (you are the object of desire, she’s not. You are the almighty accuser, the judge, and she’s the defender, the weaker one on trial).

Do you understand what this means? It means that playing TOO hard to get will make her think you’re out of her league, no really, she will!

So connect with her. How?

I’ll switch it up and continue the topic in a way that builds a connection, in the case of the tae bo girl I would continue about tae bo (how does doing it make her feel, what’s important to her about getting into shape, at what level of Tae Bo does she work out, etc.).

You see? Searching for the thing that’s easiest for you to talk about (because you can think of multiple things to tease and to connect around that subject) leads to entire conversations online, and when you’re messaging back and forth like this for about 4-5 messages long? Then it’s easy to say: I have to go now, so why don’t you give me your number, because then we can continue this conversation on the phone tomorrow. There you go: you got yourself a number. Real easy to work with these online dating tips huh?

Something like that will do just fine. If you look closely, you’ll see I’m STILL talking about EMOTIONS (the how does it make you feel?). Why? Because attraction is based on a feeling, on EMOTIONS and not on logical stuff and rational thinking, that’s BORING. So I always avoid talking logical stuff and constantly involve emotions, throw in some humor here and there, tease her about her answer in the next message, and so on.

A final IMPORTANT thing to do is: always make sure YOU are having fun as well, because if you’re not enjoying yourself while learning how to meet women online, then why do it in the first place?

And on a side note here: your online dating profile is also important if you want to have success meeting women online, so check out my blog post with online dating profile examples to start improving it!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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