When you’re meeting girls online, DESCRIPTIONS can be a man’s WORST enemy…but also one of the BEST things ever happening to him, with woman after woman sending HIM messages first. When I were to make a “Top 10 Of KEY Profile Factors” that determines the success you’ll have with your profile, photos come in first place…but descriptions come in second!

Long story short: descriptions of yourself on your profile are a big deal, and with all the mistakes being made out there? That all RUIN your chances, I’m not even going to say not to worry…because this is something you SHOULD pay a LOT of attention to.

Let’s dive right into the techniques…and this time? I’m introducing a female helper called “Wendy Whatshethinks” and she’ll do just that: let you know how women will REALLY think when they read one of your descriptions…

Plus, she gives all kinds of clues on how to “pimp” your profile descriptions.

Here’s he story: there’s shooting yourself in the foot AND…there’s shooting yourself through the MOUTH so all your brains go and splash all over the entire room in the most gory and bloody way possible with those little pieces that keep sticking to the ceiling…and these MISTAKES belong in the brain shooting department, the unforgivable ones that will fuck everything up…

Meeting Girls Online Mistake #1: Descriptions Are NOT The Place For Slang, “IM Language” And Caps-Lock
Profile: Brooklyn NYC is where I be and I’m looking to get mahself a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ to, you know, date and all if we hit it off rite…so holla at me.

Wendy Whatshethinks: just WHO are you talking to honey? Because this is FAR from turning me on, in fact, the only women I think you’ll turn on with this is some ghetto backstreet girls…and that’s not exactly keeping your options open is it? Because talking this way is forgetting about middle class women, upper class women, foreign women, women going to school, college or who have a serious, fulltime job, intellectual women, do I need to continue here? Your profile isn’t a 50 Cent, Tupac or Busta Rhymes video, so please…DON’T. Same goes for other kinds of slang by the way: if you’re from Texas, USA, sure you can talk cowboy to me with your howdy partner’s and everything…but that’s only grabbing the attention of cowgirls, which is again NOT keeping your options open! The more options you have, the more women you could (possibly) meet and date…duhhh.

Profile: I’m looking for sum1 2 be sweet 2 me, who stays up with me until l8 at night…

Wendy Whatshethinks: that’s more than enough thank you! Is this a text message where you have SO little time and space and need to abbreviate all your words into annoying little numbers making late into l8 and someone into sum1? I don’t think so…in text messages it’s understandable, but in a description where you have ALL the space you need? It’s being a dumb ass. Women don’t like men who can’t even spell a few sentences without making MAJOR mistakes or weird abbreviations and it’s also HARDER to read than normal text. The only women you’ll be dating with this “IM Language” is girls who have noooo life and are on the instant messengers all day OR monkeys disguised as women…pick one! Neeeext!

Profile: THE NAME’S BRAD, I’M FROM CHICAGO WHERE I’VE BEEN LIVING MY ENTIRE…

Wendy Whatshethinks: WHAT is this guy’s problem? Is the reason for all those Caps Lock words written as BIG as possible…that you didn’t get enough attention as a child? That you’re needy for approval, for attention and think doing the Caps Lock thing will give you the RIGHT kind of attention? Trust me, I won’t send YOU a message and I won’t reply to yours…because you’re being a big baby with your “crying for attention” text, plus it’s REALLY annoying to read..this one has emotional issues written alllll over it.

Mistake #2: Descriptions May Be Long, But Long = Not Book Report Boring
Profile: I thought to invest time on here, a friend had met someone really incredible. They have been a couple for sometime now. I am happy to make the effort, with my lifestyle this makes good sense to try this. I have more photos, I am happy to text them. I have them in my phone. As for myself I have always found that I can make a connection with all walks of life, I believe it comes from my profession equally as it does my personality. Despite my photo I do love to smile!

Wendy: blabla blabla blabla. It’s one thing to tell all kinds of things about yourself, interesting things, yeah…we would like to hear that but why so BORING? When I get home after work, tired, bored out of my friggin’ mind because my job is so average, every day feels like the same one, I have all these bills to pay, annoying routines to follow like washing my stuff, doing the dishes and so on…and the last thing I need is for a guy to bore me even MORE out of my mind. It’s NOT cool to have to read a description that – in itself – is already boring, only to find that there’s no END to your text…paragraphs please! Makes it much easier and enjoyable to read. And where’s your humor? You don’t seem like a fun kinda guy: where’s the excitement? The excitement? The kinds of stories that make me somewhat wet on the chair that I’m sitting on…but this? – Yawn –

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Onward…

Mistake #3: Descriptions Aren’t The Place For Doubts Or Neediness
Profile: Where should I begin?

Profile: Where to start…

Profile: I don’t know how to begin…

Wendy: well why did you ever start then? You CAN’T even make up your own mind about the start of a damn paragraph? Sorry, but I don’t think we’ll ever hook up…because women do not EVER like a yes man. Me: let’s go eat at McDonalds, him: yes honey. Me: do I look sexy in this? Him: yes honey. Me: where do you wanna go tonight? Him: I dunno…what do you want honey? We want a real MAN, not a slave (most of the time we don’t hehe) who leads US. Leadership shows confidence, shows dominance, shows that you don’t need approval…and if you’re not even confident about your first sentence? Already seeking approval with it? Goodbye. Men who just nod their head at whatever we say and never disagree, never lead, can’t even make up their own mind, wow…major turn off.

Profile: I thought I should be here, because…

Profile: With my current life, it makes good sense to try this…

Profile: I’m sure I could write alot more I guess…

Wendy: why oh why do you put this on your profile for dating, SERIOUSLY. It looks like you’re trying to convince YOURSELF that you should be here, telling yourself all kinds of bullshit excuses about the why’s while us women KNOW why: when it’s paid dating, you’re looking for a date. When it’s social networking, and you’re a guy, you’re either looking to be social and make new friends or…are afraid to tell me your feelings and decide to be a friend because you wanted a date anyways like most do, or just want a date. We know why, so don’t try to convince us with crap and especially not yourself with crap…we don’t buy it, and it sounds pathetic…trying to convince yourself into doing that description? It sounds like you’re embarrassed of yourself, you, a MAN, who’s embarrassed of himself? If you don’t accept yourself than…no thanks…and guess shows indecisiveness, see above: make up your damn mind already.

Profile: I have more photos, I am happy to text them. I have them in my phone.

Profile: Are you sexy? Are you fun to be around?

Wendy: Pfff…you have more photos and are happy to text them and have them in your phone? Do you really think we’re dish or something? Hahaha! Come on…this one is too obvious: you’re trying to get me to give you my phone number, but I won’t. It’s one thing to seduce me into doing something for you by asking something in return or whatever, but in a description? Something so obvious just screams “I am so desperate that I’ll give you all kinds of hints that I NEED phone numbers and use a lame excuse to get them.” Not gonna work. And the second one…please. Am I sexy, am I fun to be around? Dude, ANY woman with even an ounce of confidence in that booty will think she’s fun and sexy, which means you’re saying you fall for almost every woman you meet..that’s low, no standards. I don’t like it. It would have been WAY better if you went into more details: sexy how? sexy why? fun how? fun when? what KIND of fun: naughty, humor, outrageous, exciting fun? Details, details, details…because this is plain cheezy, it’s needy still.

Mistake #4: Descriptions Aren’t Meant To Display That You Carry “Baggage”
Profile: I’m just coming out of a relationship…

Profile: I’ve been single for a couple of weeks now…

Profile: I’ve had some bad relationships in the past…

Profile: I wasn’t always good with women because…

Wendy: let me ask you a question here…would you date a woman you KNOW is still screwed up in the head because of her ex-boyfriend? Who’s still paranoid, is insanely jealous, who has temper tantrums, who distrust anything that’s NOT upfront and direct…because he cheated on her? A woman that forces you to be careful with everything you say? Off course not. But you’re letting US know that YOU are a ma who’s dealing with the same problem: emotional baggage of past relationships that’ll get in the way of acting normal, comfortable around us…and will lead to all kinds of problems including the ones I described before. It’s one thing to tell us you had some trouble with women AFTER we talked to you and know you’re comfortable around us, having fun, and know how to treat women…that’s showing your vulnerable side. But telling us BEFORE? Makes us think it’s really bad…and RUN AWAY. It also doesn´t pay to be negative and tell what you don´t like (while being serious about it) because this also insinuates that you HAVE baggage, without telling us…the hint is enough.

Meeting Girls Online Mistake #5: Descriptions Are Not For Scientists OR Shakespeare’s OR Would-Be Philosophers
Profile: I love training my pectoral sternal, obviously refraining from overstretching my brachioradialis…which, as you know, leads to…

Wendy: did you invent the atom bomb Einstein? I don’t understand a friggin’ WORD of what you’re saying here buddy and the sad truth is: the average woman, the average person for that matter, does NOT like to read a scientific magazine for fun…and has medium level knowledge of his/her own language, the grammar, phrasings, sayings and so on. In other words: the majority is dumber than you think, so if you start talking with all kinds of big, fancy words? You’ll lose them. That’s again NOT keeping your options open, but limiting yourself to brain surgeons, doctors, and hot university professors (if there even ARE hot, female university professors).

Profile: Let me take your hand for an evening that will feel like the sweetest dream, walking under the stars while I gaze in thou eyes and listen to the beat of your heart as a whisper the words of my affection for you in your ear and…

Wendy: women can tell the difference between genuinely romantic guys and people who’re trying TOO hard…the would-be, could-be Shakespeare’s out there because this one is SO hard to believe. If you’re trying to let a woman know you’re romantic, that’s fine…but this is not the way to go, especially not with down to earth kinda girls. Most men have a wrong definition of romance anyways, because to us? One rose doesn’t mean a damn thing compared to him giving us that one thing that reminds us of one very specific thing that happened on our first date or that little thingie that’s so important to us but we lost somewhere along the way…romance, for us, is letting us know that you care…so very personal, “I always listen to you” presents are wayyyy better than inpersonal roses, or candy, or chocolate. Sure they work too, but it’s the difference between casual sex and hot, steamy all night long sex without a condom…BIG difference.

Profile: It is that the truth itself is what is most important, for it is one of the few pillars that any of us can hang our hat on. There is also an unrequited poet inside me and a lover of art, of beauty and all which is light in heart and being. This I guess stems from the old saying that the lofty heights of the mountains would not be nearly so great if it were not for the depths of the valleys. I am also a lover of words – but more than the simple text – the emotions that drive them – and the actions that take flight in their wake.

Wendy: describing yourself is not doing the same as the Dead Poet’s Society or philosophizing about life like Plato, Socrates or whatever. When we’re having a DEEP, intellectual conversation it’s really nice to see a guy have depth…to see he thinks about life IN THE MIDDLE of that conversation. But seeing a guy talk this “up on cloud 9”, out there kinda way? I would say: daydreamer. Someone who takes himself a bit TOO serious, over thinks things and doesn’t enjoy the things in his life OUTSIDE his own head: dancing, partying, and other fun activities…nope…it’s all in his head. It actually looks like he’s trying to impress us, ME, with his intellect. Being a little arrogant, and cocky towards women is nice, bragging is not. It shows that you’re hiding all kinds of insecurities behind that big mouth.

Mistake #6: Good Descriptions Are Not The Same Thing As Too High Expectations
Profile: I’m looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, start a family…

Wendy: oh yuck! I don’t even KNOW you and you would already expect me to be your lawful wife right after the first date or something? We just want to hang out with a fun guy, have fun together with him, no strings attached, and if he has my interest enough, has me thinking about him after that date? Then it’s sure as hell time for a second one…but not MARRIAGE! It’s needy, it’s rushing things ahead WAY too fast, it shows you’re basically okay with any type of girl as long as she’ll be your life. It’s a bit too dreamy: talking on your profile about “the one” so fast, it’s desperate. First the dates, then the relationship, then maybe moving on together, then maybe after whatever amount of time…THEN it may be the time to consider marriage, but after what? Thirty seconds it takes to read your profile? uhhh…I’m running away now…

How To Pick Up Girls Online Mistake #7: Why You Should Mind The Numbers And The Summaries When Telling Something
Profile: So we went to Peking at 12 p.m., landed at 8 a.m. where we took 2 busses to the centre of the city, went into 5 stores and…

Wendy: good for you! But since when is telling you went into 5 WHOLE stores more compelling than 4 stores? Big boy! Sorry but this doesn’t grab my attention AT ALL, I don’t care about how much…I care about the HOW, the WHY, the EXPERIENCE behind it all. You were on the plane right? How did it feel flying there, what did you see while flying above the land, who was annoying on the plane. I want real stories, exciting stories, not a numbers game.

Profile: we first went to Vegas, visited a couple of casino’s there and won a few bucks, went to LA where we drove through some creepy neighborhoods, then to the warm Miami where we chilled for a bit on the beach…and so far for my tour of America.

Wendy: what the…? This is getting annoying. Men always try to be valuable, to convince us of how cool they are by quickly summing up as much as they can about a vacation, their life, what they like or whatever. You went to Vegas…there are DOZENS of brightly lid casino’s there, what about the wild nightlife? You gambled, what game and how exactly did you win, playing what, how did it feel? I see all these summaries on men’s profiles and they are emotionless. We don’t care about all the places and a quick summary of the activities so you “told a lot about yourself” because it’s STILL boring…it isn’t a story that has me excited and mentally stimulated afterwards, but just a waste of space and time.

*** NOTE *** if you’re serious about picking up girls online, wouldn’t you at least want to make sure you do NOT make any of the FATAL mistakes that will RUIN your chances of success and force you to die a bitter, lonely, old man? Wouldn’t you want to be able to start meeting girls online that you could only dream of meeting before, feeling magnificently confident and being the highly sexual man your jealous friends look up to..

Onward…

Mistake #8: Emancipation Can Also Be OVERestimated…
Profile: I can cook, clean, do the dishes…

Wendy: good for you! But you’re trying to convince me you’re a good man again…and by doing so you’re letting me know that you’re not being yourself but you’re someone who’s trying to impress me, which isn’t attractive. If you could cook, clean and so on without trying to brag about it, you wouldn’t tell me because there’s NO USE in telling someone you can also be the wife of the house…it’s corny, cheezy! And besides, cooking and cleaning is one thing, off course we don’t like doing it every day, but a feminine man? Can I run away now!? We want REAL men, who also know how to make a good meal but who aren’t trying to be the wife of the house, or gay. You can cook, clean, do the dishes, know what a “washing machine” is…SO WHAT?

Mistake #9: Descriptions Are Not “Anything Goes” Ad Campaigns
Profile: I love a woman who’s open, honest, takes care of herself, funny and…

Wendy: so I said a couple of things about keeping your options open, right? Well, this also has to do with options but it’s telling all the women in the world that you’re okay with ALL options: doesn’t matter if you spend three hours in front of the mirror and are a bitch by nature, it doesn’t matter what your style of clothing is because you can wear a clown suit for all I care, as long as you take care of yourself. As long as you’re honest about the lies, the laziness, the neediness, the jealousy and the dramaqueen behavior, you can get away with it…wrong, wrong, wrong. You’re almost ASKING to be taken for granted here. Why is it that men have such a hard time with DEFINING what they really want, being specific? In case you’re wondering…the less specific you are, the more you let us know that you’re SO desperate, SO needy that you just want a woman, ANY woman who’s open, honest and funny. This turns us off, because next to being desperate you don’t know what you want and aren’t showing it properly, you’re just some guy trying to get a girl, but not a real man. It’s like trying to find a person, doesn’t matter…ANY person will do, in a street that thousands of people are walking in: you’ll have a pretty hard damn time finding a person AND finding someone you’d like to find without nasty discoveries later on.

Mistake #10: You Are NOT Your Job, You Are Not The Things You Own
Profile: I work in construction and earn $234.000 a year…

Wendy: so you ARE construction? You ARE the blocks you build with, the blueprints you make for some lame apartment building? You ARE the 234.000 dollars you make a year? With all do respect, but you are NOT the things you own and NOT your job…at least, I hope you aren’t because it would mean you have nooooo life NEXT to your job, no life NEXT to your income. This tells me you’re bragging. A girl doesn’t care about what her man does 99% of the time, even if he’s a MOB BOSS or a cop in a VERY dangerous area, if she feels enough for him? She won’t care about that because women care about how you make them FEEL, not what you are. The only thing that’s attractive and work-related to us is ambition, having a purpose and knowing what you want…not how many figures you earn a year, what degrees or titles you have, where you work..you bragger. If you’re telling me about work? Work is boring, school is boring…except for when you tell an EXCITING, outrageous, funny, story about an adventure happening there with drama in it, tension, risk…emotions…

Mistake #11: Descriptions Are Not Job Interviews…(To Mr. Character Traits And Mr. Adjective)
Profile: I am loving, caring, romantic, playful, mysterious, challenging, thoughtful, intellectual, curious, funny, sometimes crazy…

Wendy: you’re throwing a lover’s resume at me or what? Those who are, don’t tell buddy…actions speak louder than words. You can tell me anything about yourself that you damn well please, but if I don’t SEE you really are that way from how you act? I’m gone. It’s not what you say, it’s what you DON’T say. It’s like being a man who has guts…does he has to tell the world he has guts? No, because he already knows he does and doesn’t care about what the rest thinks. If he were to say “yeah I have guts” he shows that he wants to impress people…a BRAGGER. So this little character trait summary is meaningless to me, I don’t buy it and it doesn’t PROVE anywhere that you really are that way. If you say something with words, you have to come up with actions as proof, or they’re just empty words. PROOF!

Profile: I like skiing, boating, partying, traveling, eating out, walking on the beach, staring at the stars, walking the dog, I love diving, watching the LA Lakers game, going to Michael Jackson concerts, eating popcorn at the movies, going to the movies and…

Wendy: meaningless. I don’t buy it: it’s just a list…a summary of empty words without actions, stories as PROOF. You’re trying to impress me with your hobbies, your interests, your “life” while it’s hard to believe you do all that stuff regularly. I don’t see any photos too, so why should I even believe you? Waht a load of crap. You go to Michael’s concerts, good for you! Am I supposed to be excited know? Sorry but this isn’t attractive to me AT ALL. All those adjectives, but nothing to show for it.

Mistake #12: The Corny Collection, The World´s Most Aweful Headlines, Intros And Titles
1. “Looking for that special someone” or “Looking for miss right” or “Looking for the love of my life” or “Looking to meet new people”…and any other titles indicating that you have expectations that are too high or are looking

2. “Mr. Right” or “Knight in shiny armor”…and any other titles that try to impress

3. “Quality over quantity” or “There is more than meets the eye”…and any other sayings, expressions, etc.

4. “Pursue your dreams” or “A road less travelled is”…and any other philosophical crap

5. “Go break your own heart, I’m busy” or “Did you just pinch my but?”…and any other “mr. funny man” comment or joke

6. “Do you believe in miracles?” or “Is heaven missing an angel”…and any other cheezy pick up lines or anything remotely close TO pick up lines

7. “I think you should smile”…and any other lighthearted comment about life, you or her

8. “I’m so sexy” or “I’m a badboy so watch out” or “I won’t biet, yet”…and any other “I’m bad” or naughty comments that seem original and seem to be a good idea..

Wendy Whatshethinks: these all scream “BEEN there, DONE that!” I’ve seen these so much in my lifetime, that I lost count…and I’m still in my early twenties. Titles where you’re looking for anything, try to impress, try to be witty with an overused saying (it’s a saying because it has been USED a lot in the past, dummmy!), try to be mr. funny with a non-related joke, try to be a philosopher, Casanova or scientist, cheezy pick up lines titles (headlines), mr. badboy and lighthearted comments about me, my life and you or your life have all been done before. These are nothing new, but what ALL men do. If you’re trying to excite me, to build a connection with me, get the attraction going? Then these are ALL not going to work, no matter what site because us women have basically seen them all…especially if were quite active in the dating scene. And by the way, please…no childish, kiddy cartoon quotes, cheezy movie quotes (all movie quotes are cheezy because they’re unoriginal) or anything that comes close.

Make sure you browse through this list regularly my fried…to AVOID making these FATAL mistakes that’ll hit you where it hurts.

Hey, want online dating profile examples that do attract women? Then see my post about online dating profile examples and start reading already!

To More Dating Success,

Carlos Xuma
Win With Women

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